Post by Halo on Mar 20, 2019 20:54:39 GMT -7
Stepping back away from my jet black pickup truck, I have to stare at it for a second and remind myself it’s actually my truck. A gift on my twentieth birthday last month, I still pinch myself every time I see it even five weeks later. I mean, this can’t possibly be mine…
Can it?
A full equipped brand new 2019 Ford F-150 Raptor, these things start at fifty grand a pop! When would I ever have that kind of money to blow on a pickup truck? Mama Christina and Mama Seleana looked so happy when Brit couldn’t wait to show it to me. It was almost funny since she doesn’t drive herself. Doesn’t even have a license. I don’t think she even has a learner’s permit, whatever they call them things here in california. I know back home in Tennessee they’re graduated so you go through three levels of permit before you get your license.
Don’t ask me how I managed to pass my test and get mine, but I did, damn near as fast as I turned fifteen and half, right next to my twin sister, Rainie, and her best friend, GoGo. We went as a trio because even then, none of my so-called “friends” would be caught dead trying to help me get behind the wheel of a car.
Hell, they were probably too busy getting fucked up to be perfectly honest with y’all. We did a lot of that then. Rainie some too, though not as much as the others and me. GoGo wouldn’t have dreamed of it. She wouldn’t wanna risk the wrath of the Colonel.
Neither would I really, that man scares the shit outta me! Even though he is how I learned how to drive. My Mama was too busy getting fucked up herself. Kinda where Rainie and me learned how. Y’all know that old Temptations song, “Papa Was A Rolling Stone?” Has that line in it, “And when he died, all he left us was alone?” I always say something similar about my poor Mama. Only thing she ever taught me was how to snort drugs and chase them with some really good shine. My Daddy ain’t never taught me a damn thing that was any good either but the Colonel? He tried to help us both out, me and Rainie. Unfortunately, Rainie was always a better listener than I was and so she took to the help from the Goganious Family way more than I did.
Rainie always had GoGo, her Goldi. They weren’t fucking or nothing then but they were practically inseparable until GoGo managed to graduate high school early and run off to wrestling training at the Hybrid Combat School in January 2017. We was all just seventeen then, bout to turn eighteen and she was suddenly she was four hours away from Tullahoma in Asheville, North Carolina.
Ok, so technically it was Fairview, North Carolina just outside of Asheville, but you get the picture. Me and Rainie never did actually manage to graduate. Mama od’d two months later, March 13, 2017, to be exact. Daddy finally finished gambling away the house not long after that and Rainie waited til that summer to go runnin’ to to her Goldi and that weird Canadian guy, Declan Black. Struck a deal then to get herself into the school too by working ring crew for Hybrid Wrestling. Made the Ascension Brand roster in five months, won the tag team championships with GoGo six months after that.
I sat on my ass in Tullahoma getting fucked up just like my Mama had and why not? I had no real friends, just drug buddies. My twin sister was off in Carolina making something of herself and doing it without me and being clean and sober and, yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen for me any time soon. I mean, yeah, eventually I got sick of sitting on my ass and came out to Asheville, but not until I had another fight with Daddy about me going back to that damn convent place he’d sent me to earlier. Like that was really gonna stick, right? Me, a fucking nun? Come on, Daddy, that was never gonna fly and you know it. The whole “Halo” thing had always been an ironic thing my friends…
Ok, my drug buddies…
Hung on me to be funny and they loved when Daddy sent me away when I turned seventeen to an actual, honest to God convent thinking it would straighten me out and get me to quit being a little juvenile delinquent! Naw, Daddy, I liked drinking and fucking too much and you knew it!
That was until I met Logan Bailey.
He might have been almost double my age and the most Beta Male you have ever met in y’all life but there was just something about him. I dunno, I just couldn’t look away when he would talk, even when it was just about how he managed to develop arthritis already. That man was great to me for the eleven months or so that I knew him. He was my first real relationship and I moved in with him because, fuck it, why not? I didn’t have any place to live and he didn’t expect me to do anything.
I loved him for it.
Logan wrestled in Hybrid next to Declan, Rainie and GoGo but his career didn’t exactly take off. Not that I cared, he was always good enough for me even if everybody else told him he wasn’t worth a damn. He always came home to me and I always came home to him. Even managed to not party much at all and I can’t tell you how the fuck that happened! Somehow being with him meant I didn’t need the pills or the coke or anything else anymore. He even put up with me drinking some even though I was udnerage and basically scammed them out of guys at places I shouldn’t have been allowed in by making them think they were gonna get into my litle pants.
Amazing what you can do with a good fake ID and some good mascara to help you bat your eyelashes at idiot drunks who already have their beer goggles on before they even see you coming. Logan almost found that cute, I don’t know how. I’d come home sometimes with liquor on my breath and he wouldn’t even ask me where I’d been most of the time. He put up with so much of my bullshit and I have no idea how with as much pain as he was always in.
When we finally had that fight in May, it must have just…
I found him, hanging there in our home and I have never screamed like that before or since. I don’t know who was gonna hear me but I started screaming at him, “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me.”
Somewhere in there while I was screaming at him and trying to get him down I started crying for my Mama and that just seemed to make me…
I don’t know, by the time the police showed up, I was already hysterical and looking for help knowing I didn’t deserve it.
At all.
It was my fault he was gone. I’d pushed him to it. I’d said the nastiest, most vile shit I could think of and stormed out of the house. I wasn’t even gone that long but somehow in the hour I was gone, he found the strength to hoist himself up and…
So yeah, I pushed him to it. It was my fault he was gone just like it was my fault Mama was gone because I’m who gave her the shit she od’d on. I was hammered and didn’t think anything of sharing. She was Mama, she could always do more than me anyway. What was some of what I was doing that night?
That’s why I’m always surprised Rainie will still talk to me. I gave Mama her poison. I ran off on Daddy and I pushed Logan into the grave. I didn’t think anyone would still want me around.
Them messages I started getting from Brittany Williams absolutely floored me. She was everything I was not. She was beautiful, she was rich, she was famous and she had a job and she was even technically legal yet! She excited and terrified me. I’d never had a real girlfriend before, just chicks I played around with while we were both fucked up. Coming so close to Logan, I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help it. Something drew me to her even though I shouldn’t have even been talking to her.
I knew she was using me at first. I knew she had a boyfriend and I knew they went on-again, off-again the way most people change socks and she’d come running to me every time they’d had a fight. She moved me into her Mama’s house in Los Angeles almost immediately, even took me with them on some cruise for Sin City Wrestling where we ended up playing basketball with Mama Christina and Mama Seleana and Miss Roxi and Miss Keira. Somewhere during the summer, Brittany started talking to me every so often about training. Sometimes she talked about being a tag team with me and sometimes she just seemed to wanna see if i could do it. She’d heard about Rainie and how people had started calling her a prodigy and all.
I thought she was crazy at first. I didn’t think I had Rainie’s work ethic. No way I could have worked ring crew just to pay for training like she did. It was funny, it always seemed to coincide with when she and her boyfriend, Jordan, were having a spat.
I’d tell myself I didn’t care but after a while, I kinda did care about it. I will admit at first, our relationship was a sort of mutual physical attraction users club. She wanted a side piece to revenge fuck when she was mad at Jordan and I wanted something to make me forget Logan and give me a roof over my head but I will admit right now, I lived in constant fear that Brittany’s impatience would get me thrown out. I was terrified that I was really just there to be a piece of ass and if I wasn’t good enough at that, I would be gone and homeless for the third time in a year. I wanted her so bad, I kept praying that maybe she would pick me.
Somewhere in there, I started training with whomever I could talk to about it. Mama Christina and Mama Seleana would show me some. Mama Seleana’s cousin, Miss Maja showed me some. Hybrid’s current Grand Champion, Miss Stacy Jones, showed me a lot. Brittany would work with me and little by little she actually seemed to start giving a damn about me.
I was dead in love with her, had been almost from the start even though I knew then I wasn’t supposed to be. Then two things happened to shock me.
Brittany and Jordan broke up for good with Jordan almost immediately getting hitched to somebody else like he’d been doing the same damn thing to her that she’d been doing to him when it came to having side pieces.
Gotta admit, I kinda enjoyed that because it meant she was now picking me.
The other was that Galactic Women’s Wrestling opened and Brittany looked at me and said, “You wanna go there as a team?”
My mouth done almost hit the fucking floor.
I wasn’t ready for that! There was no way I was ready after only training for a few months and what would happen if I showed I wasn’t Rainie? What would happen if I came there and Brittany didn’t have that championship success she’d had elsewhere because I couldn’t hold up my end?
The thought terrified me because I knew it could lead to arguments, arguments could lead to fights, to resentment and to me being out on the damn street again!
I started redoubling my efforts! They booked me against River Chance and I knew…
I had to work my ass off like I had never worked before. I had to go in there and outwork everybody else. I had to go out there and be able to hang with the likes of FM Young and Lyra Donavan and Zoey Madigan-Star! I had to or I was gonna be the one who did not live up to what I needed to and I’d be back where I was...
And I am never going back to that!
I kept a picture of the old F-150 my Daddy used to drive before he gambled that away one night too. I loved that truck. I learned to drive in that truck with the Colonel. I took my driver’s test in that truck. I got laid and I got high for the first time in the bed of that truck. That picture always sat there in my room right next to the bed. I would come home every night and stare at it and I think they all heard me say, “One day… one day I’m gonna earn my way to having one of you!”
So for my birthday, my first with this family, there it was, sitting in the driveway.
I fell to my knees, couldn’t see nothing through the tears. Who buys me presents like that? Who buys a dirty redneck like me something that costs more than everything else I’ve ever owned put together?
I mean, fifty grand?
Come on, that may as well be a million! It was always a pipe dream that I could earn enough to afford that no matter what I did!
Five weeks later and I still look at it and i can’t fucking believe it’s real. Five weeks later and I still look at it like I do my championship belt. The same one FM Young held. I won it in a match with FM Young, Lyra Donavan and Malaya Diyosa on January 24, 2019.
In my third match ever…
I became the GWW Enterprise Conquest Champion…
And I have worked my ass off to stay there because I know I have to earn that every time I go to the ring! I have to prove that wasn’t just some fluke. I have to show the world that I am not just some stupid, dirty redneck from Tullahoma that got lucky she found a sugar mama!
I need this!
I need to show I’m worthy of the faith everybody put in me! I have to earn that truck! I have to earn that belt! I have to show that I belong! I have to show that I am never going back to those streets again! I am never going back to being that homeless bitch scamming drunks for drinks and cab fare so I can eat that night!
I need this!
I fight every match because I know if I don’t how easily everything goes away! I know how easily the truck gets repo’d, the job goes away and I am nothing!
I need this!
Battle Beyond the Stars gives me that chance! Battle Beyond the Stars gives me River Chance and I need you to understand River that I need this! You are my opportunity to show the whole damn world that I was in that match for a reason! That I belonged there on that graphic just as much as FM Young, Lyra Donavan and Malaya Diyosa!
You and me, River, we have torn down the place twice before and the second time you challenged me to show I could do it myself well now I get to challenge you! I challenge you to come at me like you ain’t never come at me before! I challenge you to come at me like you ain’t never come at nobody else before! I challenge you to come at me like your life depends on it because I know too damn well that mine does and I don’t want no one to look at us and go, “Well, they really didn’t go that hard.”
No, fuck that!
I need you to come for me and I need to come for you! I need it so that when it’s over, either I am still the champion or I have damn near died trying to stave you off! It is one or the other, there ain’t no in between for me!
I need this, River.
I need you to be my River of Rapture! I need you to wash me clean, cleanse me whole! I need you to either prove I am the best or I need you to prove you had to be to take this from me!
I ain’t going back, River, and if I have to drag you kicking and screaming to the top with me to do it, bet your ass I’m gonna! Battle Beyond the Stars, we are going to steal the show or we are gonna kill each other trying! We are gonna be the damndest match these people have ever seen!
I need it…
And so do you!
Can it?
A full equipped brand new 2019 Ford F-150 Raptor, these things start at fifty grand a pop! When would I ever have that kind of money to blow on a pickup truck? Mama Christina and Mama Seleana looked so happy when Brit couldn’t wait to show it to me. It was almost funny since she doesn’t drive herself. Doesn’t even have a license. I don’t think she even has a learner’s permit, whatever they call them things here in california. I know back home in Tennessee they’re graduated so you go through three levels of permit before you get your license.
Don’t ask me how I managed to pass my test and get mine, but I did, damn near as fast as I turned fifteen and half, right next to my twin sister, Rainie, and her best friend, GoGo. We went as a trio because even then, none of my so-called “friends” would be caught dead trying to help me get behind the wheel of a car.
Hell, they were probably too busy getting fucked up to be perfectly honest with y’all. We did a lot of that then. Rainie some too, though not as much as the others and me. GoGo wouldn’t have dreamed of it. She wouldn’t wanna risk the wrath of the Colonel.
Neither would I really, that man scares the shit outta me! Even though he is how I learned how to drive. My Mama was too busy getting fucked up herself. Kinda where Rainie and me learned how. Y’all know that old Temptations song, “Papa Was A Rolling Stone?” Has that line in it, “And when he died, all he left us was alone?” I always say something similar about my poor Mama. Only thing she ever taught me was how to snort drugs and chase them with some really good shine. My Daddy ain’t never taught me a damn thing that was any good either but the Colonel? He tried to help us both out, me and Rainie. Unfortunately, Rainie was always a better listener than I was and so she took to the help from the Goganious Family way more than I did.
Rainie always had GoGo, her Goldi. They weren’t fucking or nothing then but they were practically inseparable until GoGo managed to graduate high school early and run off to wrestling training at the Hybrid Combat School in January 2017. We was all just seventeen then, bout to turn eighteen and she was suddenly she was four hours away from Tullahoma in Asheville, North Carolina.
Ok, so technically it was Fairview, North Carolina just outside of Asheville, but you get the picture. Me and Rainie never did actually manage to graduate. Mama od’d two months later, March 13, 2017, to be exact. Daddy finally finished gambling away the house not long after that and Rainie waited til that summer to go runnin’ to to her Goldi and that weird Canadian guy, Declan Black. Struck a deal then to get herself into the school too by working ring crew for Hybrid Wrestling. Made the Ascension Brand roster in five months, won the tag team championships with GoGo six months after that.
I sat on my ass in Tullahoma getting fucked up just like my Mama had and why not? I had no real friends, just drug buddies. My twin sister was off in Carolina making something of herself and doing it without me and being clean and sober and, yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen for me any time soon. I mean, yeah, eventually I got sick of sitting on my ass and came out to Asheville, but not until I had another fight with Daddy about me going back to that damn convent place he’d sent me to earlier. Like that was really gonna stick, right? Me, a fucking nun? Come on, Daddy, that was never gonna fly and you know it. The whole “Halo” thing had always been an ironic thing my friends…
Ok, my drug buddies…
Hung on me to be funny and they loved when Daddy sent me away when I turned seventeen to an actual, honest to God convent thinking it would straighten me out and get me to quit being a little juvenile delinquent! Naw, Daddy, I liked drinking and fucking too much and you knew it!
That was until I met Logan Bailey.
He might have been almost double my age and the most Beta Male you have ever met in y’all life but there was just something about him. I dunno, I just couldn’t look away when he would talk, even when it was just about how he managed to develop arthritis already. That man was great to me for the eleven months or so that I knew him. He was my first real relationship and I moved in with him because, fuck it, why not? I didn’t have any place to live and he didn’t expect me to do anything.
I loved him for it.
Logan wrestled in Hybrid next to Declan, Rainie and GoGo but his career didn’t exactly take off. Not that I cared, he was always good enough for me even if everybody else told him he wasn’t worth a damn. He always came home to me and I always came home to him. Even managed to not party much at all and I can’t tell you how the fuck that happened! Somehow being with him meant I didn’t need the pills or the coke or anything else anymore. He even put up with me drinking some even though I was udnerage and basically scammed them out of guys at places I shouldn’t have been allowed in by making them think they were gonna get into my litle pants.
Amazing what you can do with a good fake ID and some good mascara to help you bat your eyelashes at idiot drunks who already have their beer goggles on before they even see you coming. Logan almost found that cute, I don’t know how. I’d come home sometimes with liquor on my breath and he wouldn’t even ask me where I’d been most of the time. He put up with so much of my bullshit and I have no idea how with as much pain as he was always in.
When we finally had that fight in May, it must have just…
I found him, hanging there in our home and I have never screamed like that before or since. I don’t know who was gonna hear me but I started screaming at him, “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me.”
Somewhere in there while I was screaming at him and trying to get him down I started crying for my Mama and that just seemed to make me…
I don’t know, by the time the police showed up, I was already hysterical and looking for help knowing I didn’t deserve it.
At all.
It was my fault he was gone. I’d pushed him to it. I’d said the nastiest, most vile shit I could think of and stormed out of the house. I wasn’t even gone that long but somehow in the hour I was gone, he found the strength to hoist himself up and…
So yeah, I pushed him to it. It was my fault he was gone just like it was my fault Mama was gone because I’m who gave her the shit she od’d on. I was hammered and didn’t think anything of sharing. She was Mama, she could always do more than me anyway. What was some of what I was doing that night?
That’s why I’m always surprised Rainie will still talk to me. I gave Mama her poison. I ran off on Daddy and I pushed Logan into the grave. I didn’t think anyone would still want me around.
Them messages I started getting from Brittany Williams absolutely floored me. She was everything I was not. She was beautiful, she was rich, she was famous and she had a job and she was even technically legal yet! She excited and terrified me. I’d never had a real girlfriend before, just chicks I played around with while we were both fucked up. Coming so close to Logan, I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help it. Something drew me to her even though I shouldn’t have even been talking to her.
I knew she was using me at first. I knew she had a boyfriend and I knew they went on-again, off-again the way most people change socks and she’d come running to me every time they’d had a fight. She moved me into her Mama’s house in Los Angeles almost immediately, even took me with them on some cruise for Sin City Wrestling where we ended up playing basketball with Mama Christina and Mama Seleana and Miss Roxi and Miss Keira. Somewhere during the summer, Brittany started talking to me every so often about training. Sometimes she talked about being a tag team with me and sometimes she just seemed to wanna see if i could do it. She’d heard about Rainie and how people had started calling her a prodigy and all.
I thought she was crazy at first. I didn’t think I had Rainie’s work ethic. No way I could have worked ring crew just to pay for training like she did. It was funny, it always seemed to coincide with when she and her boyfriend, Jordan, were having a spat.
I’d tell myself I didn’t care but after a while, I kinda did care about it. I will admit at first, our relationship was a sort of mutual physical attraction users club. She wanted a side piece to revenge fuck when she was mad at Jordan and I wanted something to make me forget Logan and give me a roof over my head but I will admit right now, I lived in constant fear that Brittany’s impatience would get me thrown out. I was terrified that I was really just there to be a piece of ass and if I wasn’t good enough at that, I would be gone and homeless for the third time in a year. I wanted her so bad, I kept praying that maybe she would pick me.
Somewhere in there, I started training with whomever I could talk to about it. Mama Christina and Mama Seleana would show me some. Mama Seleana’s cousin, Miss Maja showed me some. Hybrid’s current Grand Champion, Miss Stacy Jones, showed me a lot. Brittany would work with me and little by little she actually seemed to start giving a damn about me.
I was dead in love with her, had been almost from the start even though I knew then I wasn’t supposed to be. Then two things happened to shock me.
Brittany and Jordan broke up for good with Jordan almost immediately getting hitched to somebody else like he’d been doing the same damn thing to her that she’d been doing to him when it came to having side pieces.
Gotta admit, I kinda enjoyed that because it meant she was now picking me.
The other was that Galactic Women’s Wrestling opened and Brittany looked at me and said, “You wanna go there as a team?”
My mouth done almost hit the fucking floor.
I wasn’t ready for that! There was no way I was ready after only training for a few months and what would happen if I showed I wasn’t Rainie? What would happen if I came there and Brittany didn’t have that championship success she’d had elsewhere because I couldn’t hold up my end?
The thought terrified me because I knew it could lead to arguments, arguments could lead to fights, to resentment and to me being out on the damn street again!
I started redoubling my efforts! They booked me against River Chance and I knew…
I had to work my ass off like I had never worked before. I had to go in there and outwork everybody else. I had to go out there and be able to hang with the likes of FM Young and Lyra Donavan and Zoey Madigan-Star! I had to or I was gonna be the one who did not live up to what I needed to and I’d be back where I was...
And I am never going back to that!
I kept a picture of the old F-150 my Daddy used to drive before he gambled that away one night too. I loved that truck. I learned to drive in that truck with the Colonel. I took my driver’s test in that truck. I got laid and I got high for the first time in the bed of that truck. That picture always sat there in my room right next to the bed. I would come home every night and stare at it and I think they all heard me say, “One day… one day I’m gonna earn my way to having one of you!”
So for my birthday, my first with this family, there it was, sitting in the driveway.
I fell to my knees, couldn’t see nothing through the tears. Who buys me presents like that? Who buys a dirty redneck like me something that costs more than everything else I’ve ever owned put together?
I mean, fifty grand?
Come on, that may as well be a million! It was always a pipe dream that I could earn enough to afford that no matter what I did!
Five weeks later and I still look at it and i can’t fucking believe it’s real. Five weeks later and I still look at it like I do my championship belt. The same one FM Young held. I won it in a match with FM Young, Lyra Donavan and Malaya Diyosa on January 24, 2019.
In my third match ever…
I became the GWW Enterprise Conquest Champion…
And I have worked my ass off to stay there because I know I have to earn that every time I go to the ring! I have to prove that wasn’t just some fluke. I have to show the world that I am not just some stupid, dirty redneck from Tullahoma that got lucky she found a sugar mama!
I need this!
I need to show I’m worthy of the faith everybody put in me! I have to earn that truck! I have to earn that belt! I have to show that I belong! I have to show that I am never going back to those streets again! I am never going back to being that homeless bitch scamming drunks for drinks and cab fare so I can eat that night!
I need this!
I fight every match because I know if I don’t how easily everything goes away! I know how easily the truck gets repo’d, the job goes away and I am nothing!
I need this!
Battle Beyond the Stars gives me that chance! Battle Beyond the Stars gives me River Chance and I need you to understand River that I need this! You are my opportunity to show the whole damn world that I was in that match for a reason! That I belonged there on that graphic just as much as FM Young, Lyra Donavan and Malaya Diyosa!
You and me, River, we have torn down the place twice before and the second time you challenged me to show I could do it myself well now I get to challenge you! I challenge you to come at me like you ain’t never come at me before! I challenge you to come at me like you ain’t never come at nobody else before! I challenge you to come at me like your life depends on it because I know too damn well that mine does and I don’t want no one to look at us and go, “Well, they really didn’t go that hard.”
No, fuck that!
I need you to come for me and I need to come for you! I need it so that when it’s over, either I am still the champion or I have damn near died trying to stave you off! It is one or the other, there ain’t no in between for me!
I need this, River.
I need you to be my River of Rapture! I need you to wash me clean, cleanse me whole! I need you to either prove I am the best or I need you to prove you had to be to take this from me!
I ain’t going back, River, and if I have to drag you kicking and screaming to the top with me to do it, bet your ass I’m gonna! Battle Beyond the Stars, we are going to steal the show or we are gonna kill each other trying! We are gonna be the damndest match these people have ever seen!
I need it…
And so do you!
