Welcome To The House - Wendy's Galactic Voyage, Part I
Mar 23, 2019 14:14:35 GMT -7
Melinda Rhodes likes this
Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2019 14:14:35 GMT -7
*Scuffle scuffle CLICK*
The camera blinks into view, as we see a woman fiddling with it. The surroundings are hard to make out, as it’s quite dark. The figure shuffles in front of the camera, difficult to make out, before clicking on a flashlight right under her chin which illuminates her face. Rough pigtails, crazed makeup and a devillish grin, the figure in question is none other than...
“Name’s House. Wendy House.”
Yeah, what she said.
“And me’s the biggest thing to hit Philly since Huwwicane Sandy.”
Ah God dammit....
Wendy cackles a little.
“Soooo... in our lives, we’s all have things dat dwive us. Ambisshuns, goals. We all have our goals, even the Phillidelphia Union... occasionally. But as a wandom pusson watchin dis, a fan of da Galacticness but unfamiliar wiv mes... yous pwobably wondewing... what dwives Wendy House? What ambisshuns and goals does she have?”
Actually, I’m pretty sure most of them are wondering what the hell is wrong with her voice.
“Well, let me tell you’s... House is dwiven by one thing. House has one goal. The one thing in dis world, other than aquactic life, dat makes House genuinely weally happy.... Is...”
She tilts her head to one side, leaning into the flashlight.
“Chaos. House thwives in the chaos, in the maelstwom of anarchy. House is the one who spits in the face or wules and order. House is the eye wake out of the wef’s line of sight. House is pulling of tights on an inside cwadle. House is an opponent getting their hand to the wopes, and not weleasing the hold till a four count. House is all dese fings, but what House is more than anyfing, is a wildcard. House doesn’t go in bwagging about how she’s the best. House not weally even care if she is the best. So many wimmin in dis business, all dey care about is the endgame, the wins, the titles... to that House says BLAH BLAH BLAH.”
She rolls her eyes a little, before refocusing on the camera.
“It’s never about the endgame for House. It’s about the journey. After all, what is life but a journey? The endgame of life, on the other hand, is death, and dat’s no fun. So come... mes little space cadets. Come wiv me on a journey. Me’s may not be the biggest, the stwongest or da pwettiest... but wot House is... is the most fun. The most unpwedictable. The slug in the lettuce patch. So while many of my fellow ladies may see dis Supernova Battle Woyale as an opportunity to get a huge win and a special pwize... for me’s? The opportunity, the weal pwize... is havin’ lots of lovely ladies to mess wiv. Plant a few seeds, and watch chaos and anarchy rule. Galaticettes... you’s won’t like House maybe... but me’s assure you, you’s won’t forget House. Because House can be anywhere. House can be behind you while you shop for gwocewies. House can watch you while you sleep. House can be in the awena ventilation system, watching you oblivious as you get weady for you’s match, an’ you’d never know she was there.”
Um... that last one was... oddly specific.
“House lives in me, and she can live in you’s too. The child that wants to watch the world burn, who yearns to gwow up one day and work for Umbwella Corps, ‘cause SCREW... EVERYONE.”
She laughs, a sing-songy giggle that is both adorable and terrifying at the same time.
“So buckle up Philly. Get suited up and let’s jump aboard dis wocket. ‘Cause much like a Supernova... House is a vewy short time fwom blowing up and killing everyone nearby!”
That’s a metaphor.... Right?
“CIAO!”
She puts her fingers up in a peace sign to her forhead, as ironic an ending as possible to end on, before she clicks off the camera and we cut... to black.
The camera blinks into view, as we see a woman fiddling with it. The surroundings are hard to make out, as it’s quite dark. The figure shuffles in front of the camera, difficult to make out, before clicking on a flashlight right under her chin which illuminates her face. Rough pigtails, crazed makeup and a devillish grin, the figure in question is none other than...
“Name’s House. Wendy House.”
Yeah, what she said.
“And me’s the biggest thing to hit Philly since Huwwicane Sandy.”
Ah God dammit....
Wendy cackles a little.
“Soooo... in our lives, we’s all have things dat dwive us. Ambisshuns, goals. We all have our goals, even the Phillidelphia Union... occasionally. But as a wandom pusson watchin dis, a fan of da Galacticness but unfamiliar wiv mes... yous pwobably wondewing... what dwives Wendy House? What ambisshuns and goals does she have?”
Actually, I’m pretty sure most of them are wondering what the hell is wrong with her voice.
“Well, let me tell you’s... House is dwiven by one thing. House has one goal. The one thing in dis world, other than aquactic life, dat makes House genuinely weally happy.... Is...”
She tilts her head to one side, leaning into the flashlight.
“Chaos. House thwives in the chaos, in the maelstwom of anarchy. House is the one who spits in the face or wules and order. House is the eye wake out of the wef’s line of sight. House is pulling of tights on an inside cwadle. House is an opponent getting their hand to the wopes, and not weleasing the hold till a four count. House is all dese fings, but what House is more than anyfing, is a wildcard. House doesn’t go in bwagging about how she’s the best. House not weally even care if she is the best. So many wimmin in dis business, all dey care about is the endgame, the wins, the titles... to that House says BLAH BLAH BLAH.”
She rolls her eyes a little, before refocusing on the camera.
“It’s never about the endgame for House. It’s about the journey. After all, what is life but a journey? The endgame of life, on the other hand, is death, and dat’s no fun. So come... mes little space cadets. Come wiv me on a journey. Me’s may not be the biggest, the stwongest or da pwettiest... but wot House is... is the most fun. The most unpwedictable. The slug in the lettuce patch. So while many of my fellow ladies may see dis Supernova Battle Woyale as an opportunity to get a huge win and a special pwize... for me’s? The opportunity, the weal pwize... is havin’ lots of lovely ladies to mess wiv. Plant a few seeds, and watch chaos and anarchy rule. Galaticettes... you’s won’t like House maybe... but me’s assure you, you’s won’t forget House. Because House can be anywhere. House can be behind you while you shop for gwocewies. House can watch you while you sleep. House can be in the awena ventilation system, watching you oblivious as you get weady for you’s match, an’ you’d never know she was there.”
Um... that last one was... oddly specific.
“House lives in me, and she can live in you’s too. The child that wants to watch the world burn, who yearns to gwow up one day and work for Umbwella Corps, ‘cause SCREW... EVERYONE.”
She laughs, a sing-songy giggle that is both adorable and terrifying at the same time.
“So buckle up Philly. Get suited up and let’s jump aboard dis wocket. ‘Cause much like a Supernova... House is a vewy short time fwom blowing up and killing everyone nearby!”
That’s a metaphor.... Right?
“CIAO!”
She puts her fingers up in a peace sign to her forhead, as ironic an ending as possible to end on, before she clicks off the camera and we cut... to black.