HOUSE & DIXON Wicked Tuesday 2/25/20 Vs GRANT & MAYE
Feb 25, 2020 10:32:49 GMT -7
Melinda Rhodes likes this
Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2020 10:32:49 GMT -7
Toss a cake to your Witcher
(Off Camera)
If you ever have read stories about ancient times, when monsters, elves, beasts and dwarves walked around, you might have an idea of an enchanted woodland area filled with mysticism and magic. Now imagine if thou will noble traveler that you approach such a place, and a tiny hut located near it. Got it? Very good young master, now replace the hut with a caravan. Ah, just like that. Now you have envisioned within your mind's eye the view which Tracy of House Dixon witnessed. She checked the scribbled down address.
“This must be the place.” She mumbled going forth about to knock on the door before hearing a shriek unlike any other.
“GODDAMN NEKKERS, I’LL BURN YOU ALL AND BLOW UP YOUR HOMES! YOUVES MESSED WIV THE HOUSE FOR THE LAST TIME! DIE! MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!”~
Horrid images flash through Dixon’s mind and anger fills her heart, with rage she flungs open the door and roars out.
“HOUSE WHAT THE FUCK?!”
House turns to Dixon and waves.
“Lo Bob. Me’s burning nekkers!
“YOU ARE WHAT!?!”
“Dese monster fings. Me’s a witcher!”
House points at her TV screen, where she is playing Witcher 3.
“Those games aren’t for kids, Wendy. And... sorry. I thought you said something else.”
House nods.
“Me could be an acshual witcher. Check out my Axii sign!”
She hops up, waving her hand in front of Tracy’s face.
“Give House cake.”
For a moment Dixon felt like ruining this fun right from the start but she felt bad for being mad at her friend she turned a glazed look at Wendy.
“Yes, must give House a delicious carrot cake…”
“NOOO CARROTS ARE FOOD FOR BUNNIES! HOUSE DEMANDS A TASTY CAKE!”
“Yes, a tacky cake for House..”
“No! Stoopid! I want a …”
House ponders and waves her hand again.
“Get House gummy bears..”
“..grubby pears, gotcha.”
“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”~
Dixon couldn’t take more she bursted out to laughter much to House’s shagrin.
“What? Yous weren’t under my powah?”
“No silly, that kinda Jedi stuff won’t work on me..”
Wendy looks at her hand.
“Mes need to study moar on my witcher skills”
She wanders over, pulling out a flask.
“Me’s betta at alchemy. Wanna try dis potion I brewed?”
Tracey gulped. I mean, it could be anything. But she (Kinda) trusted House so she tentatively took the flask.
“Er... okay.”
She takes a small sip, and smiles at House.
“Is this Jack & Coke?”
“Yah! It reduces toxicity, and gives +20 points to intoxcation!”
Dixon takes another gulp and chuckles at her friend.
“Well Witcher Wendy, are you aware that we have a quest of our own in SRW, we got a tag match coming. How do you think playing video games is helping you to prepare?”
“Weflexes. Hand eye coordination. An’ fine tuning me’s mowal compass.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Me’s been too nice. Figure I can jus’ cuntpunt someone when da wef’s not lookin’.”
She giggles.
“So, you like the place?”
“I guess. Kinda reminds me of gypsy caravan.”
“Ah! Me kinda like a gyppo. Me’s put curses on people.”
Tracy shook her head.
“House, you can’t curse people.”
“Can too! Me’s put one on the Hardcore Champ after she beat me!”
“House...”
“She finks she got off scot fwee, then when she least expects it, BANG! YEAST INFECFTION!”
“.....House...”
“BIGGEST BUSH FIRE OUTSIDE OF AUSTWALIA!”
Shaking her head Dixon figured if anyone ever captured House with statements like this she would probably be taken to court or worse.
“Look House, putting curses on people isn’t part of the wrestling etiquette. I know you haven’t been happy with your performances as of late but I think you can win matches without trickery..”
“What about witchery?”
“That too. Look, you don’t have to be Geralt of Riviera to win matches…”
“Don’t be a dummy his namez iz Gewalt of Wivia. Besides women can be witchers too. Besides easy for youws to say you don’t need twicks to win. You’ve actually won matches!”
“So have you”
“NOT BLOODY LATEWLY, it sucks donkey balls!”
“House, there’s no need for that kinda language, I’m your friend.”
“Then help mez win matchies?”
That caught the rookie of the two off guard.
“..but you are the one who’s a Hall of famer and wrestling legend, how could I help you win?”
“Duh! Beginnews luck of course!” Or... mebbe you’s achshully good. A little bit. Maybe. Besides, all the Hally Fame stuff was in like 2010. No-one cares about dat anymore. Wight now as of 2020, Wendy House is just a big loser. Me’s...”
She looked up at Dixon, her lip quivering a bit.
“Losing makes me’s sad.”
Without thinking, like some sort of a real life quick time event, Dixon grabs her little friend for a bearhug and smiles. “You will always be a legend to me House, besides once we start winning matches people will remember who you truly are..”
House looks at her friend with a smile.
“Pwomise?”
Dixon nods.
“I pwomise. Now show me what this Geralt can do?”
She releases House from the hug and watches the legend hop over to her TV. When the witcher in training wasn’t looking Dixon sneaked another gulp from the flask. If this was the way they spent the day she might as well get a buzz going.