Post by Melinda Rhodes on Feb 13, 2021 23:54:10 GMT -7
REBEL STAR ARENA
ROME, GA
BELL TIME 7PM EST
INTRO
-VALERIE BEASLEY-VS-BRUTUS HEART-
WINNER: VALERIE BEASLEY!!!!
Spazz: She out classed that greasy spunk monkey from the moment he opened his gob thinking he had a shot!
Koss: Valerie is clearly the excellence of execution this night!
SEGMENT
The bell rings and Jerry is distracted by the crowd saying rather harsh things about him. The big man leans over the ropes, arguing with a few in the front row. When he finally disengages, he's backhanded hard by Cherry, dropping to one knee with a shocked look on his face. He quickly shoots up only to take another shot to the jaw that sends him flailing back into the ropes! He snaps off and throws lumber. Cherry ducks the lariat, hops onto the second rope, then the top, and back flips off to catch him with a springboard clothesline that rocks him off his feet! Cherry puts Jerry into the PIN UP STRONG and gets a tap out victory!!!
WINNER BY SUBMISSION: CHERRY DEVILLE!!!
COMMERCIAL
-CHELSEA WINSTON-VS-FAYE LANGE-
As the bell sounds, the crowd marvels at the sight of two six-foot-tall women staring each other in the eyes. The two lock-up in a traditional collar and elbow tie-up. They spin, each trying to overpower the other like two bulls locked in mortal combat over territory. As Winston looks to take a side headlock, Lange snaps off a stiff reverse knife-edge chop and Winston’s knees start to buckle from the impact. Lange looks for a second one but Winston is able to duck and catch Lange going by for a hangman’s-style neckbreaker. They hit hard and Winston goes for the cover.
Lange kicks out.
Winston tries to get the mount position but Lange rolls her into a cradle.
Winston kicks out.
Winston catches Lange with a roundhouse kick to the head and then grabs for a clinch and knees the Danish woman in the face. Winston gives her a couple more knees and then hits a butterfly suplex. Winston covers.
Lange kicks out.
Winston goes for the Predator Lock but Lange biels her over and then kicks her between the shoulder blades. As Winston grimaces from the impact, Lange rolls over into another cradle.
Winston kicks out.
As the two start up to their feet, Lange catches Winston for a spinebuster and holds for the pin.
Winston kicks out.
Winston punches up and reverses the pin position.
Lange kicks out.
Lange goes for another reversal but Winston spins it into a reverse powerbomb and then rolls her over for the cover.
Lange kicks out.
Winston goes for the Predator Lock again but Lange smashes her back first into the turnbuckles to stop it. Lange hits a couple of nasty and devastating back elbow smashes to the face and then scoops Winston up across her shoulders. Lange staggers a few steps away from the corner and then hits the Maelstrom. Winston goes down and Lange covers.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: FAYE LANGE!!!
Koss: Faye Lange with a stacked win over Chelsea Winston here tonight!
Spazz: Chelsea's a couple inches taller but that ain't stopping the big Red Engine of Stomp Yo Ass Dead As FucK!
Koss: A well fought and deserved victory.
"Unforgiven" by Sevendust plays from the arena speaker systems into the ears of the fans in attendance as through the curtains emerges the imposing form of Ursula Von Rossbach, clad in her custom, three piece suit and carrying her crown, the Queen of The South championship upon her shoulder and a microphone in her gloved hand. She makes her way down the aisle to ringside, enters the ring, and gets straight to the business at hand.
UVR: Becky Mercy. Tracy Sin. It has been a very long time indeed since last we met. In and out of consciousness I slipped as you somehow ferried a small, rusty municipal dumpster out into the middle of a desert in Nevada and buried me alive. You left me to die in twenty-fifteen and yet it was your arrogant assumption that I would accept my fate and simply die that lead you to the ultimate failure. For years you evaded my efforts to discover where you were, likely by accident rather than design. So what has changed that has allowed you to believe that six years later would be the perfect time to strike?
Ursula tilts her head a bit, casting her gaze around the crowd.
UVR: This is not The Pitt and the last I heard your original employer was found burned to death in the smoldering ruins of his own arena. You haven't been seen in a professional wrestling ring in quite a few years, likely working outlaw wrestling promotions that operate illegally and under the radar. So what makes this so special? Why now?
The opening chords of Destrophy's "Paint it Black" sound, only to abruptly cut as the faces of Mercy & Sin appear on the screen. This gains Ursula's immediate rapt attention.
Becky: We don't like leaving business unfinished, Ursie-poo! You see, we left you in the desert and just forgot aaaaall about you like a bad mom forgets about her child at the doorstep of a nunnery. You abused me and Tracy-kins sooooo much and when big bad Karen Hardy put you in your place? Well.... Ms. Thang, we took our shot and put you down. Thing is, you're not the first we ever done that to. The desert is full of our victims left in places that noooobody will ever find them even if they look hard enough. You're the only one to rise from her grave! That's a baaaad Ursula. We've got to correct that and put you back to bed!
Tracy suddenly roars at the screen.
Tracy: THE GRAVE HUNGERS FOR YOUR FLESH!!!! YOU WILL NOT DENY YOUR DESTINY!!!!
Ursula quirks her brow at the two women on screen, tilting her head to the right as she allows them to continue.
Becky: We're gonna' bury you so deep that when they find your fossilized remains they'll think you were born in the Jurassic period!
Tracy: MAGGOTS WILL FEAST ON YOUR ROTTING ASSHOLE!!!
UVR: You still have Tourette's syndrome I see, Ms. Sin. Now BE SILENT WORMS! I not only grant your request, but on the terms that our match shall be a Buried Alive match. The two of you against me and me alone. This is not about gold or glory but satisfaction. I SHALL HAVE AVENGE MYSELF UPON YOU!
Ursula quivers with rage unrestrained.
UVR: The suffering, indignity, and humiliation I experienced will pale in comparison to what I do to a pair of jackals like the two of you.
Suddenly Becky points up, nodding with a big grin. Ursula looks up and immediately a torrent of actual desert sand rains down on her! She barely closes her eyes and mouth in time to keep from getting it in her eyes and mouth. Becky laughs maniacally as Tracy growls. The Lady Terminator tilts her head forward, fighting to keep her composure as the sand pours for what feels like an eternity, piling up at her feet.
Becky: You should recognize the sand.... that's from your grave, champ, where we're going to put you back-
Tracy: ONCE AND FOR AAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!
The feed cuts and Ursula casually brushes the dirt from her shoulders and whips her hair back to remove a good chunk of it from her head. She then exits the ring without music or fanfare.
Koss: There's desert sand everywhere!
Spazz: That ring would be the last place Darth Vader would ever wanna' be. You know that big motherfucker hates sand!
Koss: True! We have to clean up our ringside area so now is the perfect time for a commercial!
-CHRISTINA ZDUNICH-VS-MAJA LINDSTROM-
SEGMENT
-MARIA SALVATORE-VS-JUSTICE CROSS-
SEGMENT
-PRETTY COMMITTEE-VS-WILDSIDE-
SEGMENT
HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP
-HALO (C)-VS-JULIET BLACK-
Backstage we find the Rebel seated in her office, leaned back in that comfortable captain's chair with legs crossed, elbows resting on the arms. She's not dressed in her custom red suit jacket, black slacks, dress boots, and mesh shirt/tank combo but sports a long red and black coat with silver chains on her shoulders, a fringed leather red and blue half vest, silver tights with a bullet-shell belt that has her Rebel Star logo, black thigh boots, and fingerless gloves. She toys with a pair of chrome aviator shades in her hands, looking directly into the camera.
Rebel: What defines a legend? Truth is, legends are made and all you have to do is look at a wrestler's body of work, the impact they've made, and the respect they command when entering a locker room. My opponent tonight is a legend and one who has never gotten her due time in the sun and you want to know why? Because promoters are too fucking scared to put a belt on her. They're afraid she'll hold that gold till the end of motherfucking time and beyond. That's what I don't get about promoters these days. Take a fucking chance you cowards! Sadly all promoters have their favorite boot licking bitch-ass punks who talk a big game and can rock their hips real good behind locked doors. Not here, not SRW. Our champions are not pretty, they ain't nice, and they sure as fuck don't kiss my ass. Hell the Queen of the South, Ursula Von Rossbach recently had my ass punked with a choke hold against a wall. Any other place would see her ass out the door. Me? Nah.... I ain't weak like that. I looked her in the fucking eye and said if she ever touched me again, I'd take her fucking hand off at the elbow.
She uncrosses her legs, leaning forward in her seat with a devil may care smirk.
Rebel: My opponent tonight is Hirata Dokueki, a name that can send just about anyone running for cover at a mere mention. A monster who's got a body count few people can match in this sport but here I am, lil' ol' Rebel about to go out there and face the Dragon herself like I'm the motherfucking Dovahkiin while everyone else sat back and let her challenge sit for days without an answer.
Her finger points to the floor with jabbing motions as she makes her point.
Rebel: People call me alotta things, foolish and too damn cocky being chief among 'em, but afraid ain't it! I felt like this legend was disrespected by fear and decided, I might as well take a shot. I know her and Ursula have a fight coming down the pike, but the Champ has a few affairs to set in order before that can go down and that leaves Hirata's book pretty open. Kind of a shame that it took a Terminator bringing it to a few choice people's attention, but unlike those names she mentioned, I ain't about to pass up the shot to face an awesome competitor like The Poison Dragon.
Mel leans back, her smirk becoming a huge grin.
Rebel: Some out there think this is just me looking for a way to get over at the expense of my talent, that I'm looking for a big win over a big name to launch my solo career back up but nah nah naaaah. That challenge sat open, unanswered, unattended to and what's a better way to lead than by example? Show ya'll how this shit is done because there's alotta you week after week that just kinda' sit back, mouths shut, not stirring the pot or starting shit with anyone. That ain't how wrestling works! You gotta' be more than a body in a ring, bleeding and doing extreme shit for the sake of it. Tonight I hope that win, lose, or draw, I motivate some, if not all of you to do more out there, because I'll be fucking damned if the boss is supposed to step up to the plate like this.
The grin disappears as she leans in closer to the camera on her desk now.
Rebel: This moment could've been anybody's but tonight, it's mine and I can't ask for a better opponent in my own ring than The Poison Dragon, Hirata Dokueki. The two of us are gonna' beat the holy living hell out of each other in front of a screaming audience and whether my fist is raised in the air or they're carrying my carcass out of the ring, ain't nobody forgetting our names tonight. Dokueki, it's an honor and a privilege to step up and share the ring with a legend, thank you for having me and let's show those quivering bitches in the locker room how it's done!
Melinda slips on her shades, purses her lips together and blows a kiss at the camera. She then rises from her chair and quickly exits her office, the door shutting behind her as the camera feed cuts.
The camera comes to life, Hirata Dokueki sitting on a bench in the locker room. She's strapping on her kick pads, and doesn't look up before she begins to speak.
Hirata Dokueki: Melinda Rhodes. The Rebel Star, and my boss here at Southern Rebellion Wrestling. Not a lot of full time superstars will step into the ring with my willingly, it would seem, much less upper management. But...
Dokueki slaps her shin, ensuring the pad is right before starting on the other one.
Hirata Dokueki: Melinda is no ordinary woman. An ordinary woman would have backed down from Ursula Von Rossbach. An ordinary woman would have sat silently and avoided my challenge altogether. Tonight, we prove two things.
Having finished adjusting her kick pads, Dokueki looks into the camera as she adjusts the loose fitting bottoms she wears in the ring.
Hirata Dokueki: One. That Melinda Rhodes has more heart than most of the people who work for her. And two, that most of the people who work for her have to be prodded by a Terminator and herself to consider getting into the ring with me. I cannot say that I blame them. My last two showings on this program have been rather one sided. Now, I stare down the barrel of a challenge I never would have expected.
Dokueki smirks, but there's danger in her one good eye as she stares into the camera, the other unmoving, lifeless.
Hirata Dokueki: Make no mistake, SRW fans and roster. What you are about to witness is going to be a very violent car accident. One from which the better woman will walk away.
Dokueki stands to her feet, finally ready. She walks to the door, pulling it open. She doesn't look back.
Hirata Dokueki: No offense Melinda. But that woman will be me. See you soon.
The camera fades to black as the Dragon exits.
POISON DRAGON CHALLENGE MATCH
-HIRATA DOKUEKI-VS-MELINDA RHODES-
The Rebel removes her long coat with a bit of flare, tossing it over her head to the outside where the time keeper catches it. The man is unusually good at catching stuff tossed out of the ring.
Mel pumps her fist in the air as they two circle each other in a worker's walk to work the crowd up, The Dragon smiling back at her with a wicked, crooked grin. The Rebel starts bouncing her feet a bit as they get closer, clearly amping herself up as they get closer and closer. Dokueki seems to jitter slightly with giddy anticipation almost, her hand reaching out for Melinda's. The hands grip and immediately there is a struggle that quickly turns to Hirata's favor as she twists the Rebel's down and back, causing her to grit her teeth in pain. Mel front flips to turn the tide and pulls the Dragon into a hard knee shot and a quick front facelock, but Do isn't held long! Mel falls back with a DDT but Dokueki pulls her head free while shoving Mel in mid drop, sending her flat-backed on the canvas! Mel barely avoids an axe kick stomp with a backroll to her feet!
The Rebel's on her feet in a flash and swinging with fast jabs that Dokueki manages to nimbly twist and dodge, catching Mel's arm and pulling her in for a solid Overhead Belly to Belly suplex! Mel skids across the canvas with clinched teeth on impact. She gets to her feet just in time to take a straight running boot to the chest that sends her falling back into the ropes! The Rebel shoves off the ropes with a clothesline, Dokueki shows off her flexibility, bending backwards as her foe's arm sails over her, then twisting and bending upright while spinning with her arm outstretched. Mel stumbles from the missed shot, rights herself, then turns right back around with an arm reared back only to get violently rocked off her feet with a brutal power-lariat! With a loud smack, Mel's hit with a skull rattling impact that flips her right off her feet, landing her flat on her stomach with a croaked groan, yet she pushes up with her knuckles, shaking her head.
With a shoulder roll and a single windmill swing of Mel's arm, the two go back into a worker's walk and seeing it coming, Mel brings her arms up to block one of the fastest and hardest roundhouse kicks she's ever taken, the blow sending her stumbling to one side. She barely dodges a follow up snap kick, blocks a low kick, and finally Dokueki fires off a Savate kick that Mel catches and without missing a beat, Mel pulls her right into a single leg shoulder powerbomb right on the canvas!!!!
Dokueki back rolls on impact to her feet and now it was her turn to back pedal as Melinda unloads a boxer's barrage! She tries to weave through them, but the Rebel's hands are fast and precise, forcing her to turtle up while eating a few body shots to the ribs. A knee shot from Dokueki breaks things up, forcing Mel to block with both hands but opening her up for a wicked headbutt that sends her staggering back, followed by SHINING BLACK!!! Mel is on her back and Dokueki rolls right over her for the ONE-TWO-TTTHHHRRRE-NO!!!! She rolls the shoulder, which puts a big smile on Dokueki's face!
Mel starts to rise in time to be sat up on her knees with a hard running knee shot, followed by a low orbit roundhouse kick rolling her out on the mat! Dokueki steps back, doing a little fist pump like the Rebel had done earlier on, then squats down in a corner, stomping her foot as she watches and waits for her foe to get to her feet. She doesn't wait long Mel shows her resilience, rising up on one knee with a bit of a shake of her head. Dokueki blasts off from the corner with a running Big Boot towards her foe, but in a move that surprises her, Mel runs right at her, drops to her knees, and slides beneath her on momentum alone! Mel pops her legs and is instantly on her feet. Dokueki turns around, slightly off balance and gets caught in a 3/4th's necklock! SHOT IN THE DARK!!! Mel hooks the leg and ONE-TWO-THRE-POWER KICKOUT!!!
Dokueki THROWS Melinda off of her and sits up, shaking here head from the shot and yet oddly enough, there's a huge, almost feral grin on her face. The Rebel rolls back and crouches low, staring on in shock at The Poison Dragon as she rises up, rolling her shoulders and her neck. She claps her hands at Melinda as if to say "Good effort!"
Giving herself a few quick head slaps, Mel gets to her feet with a little bounce in her step once more. She brings her hands up once more and moves in. What follows is an intense and insane exchange of blocked strikes, ducked kicks, and evasions between the two. The Rebel scores a hard right on Dokueki's jaw. The Dragon manages to catch her with a back kick to the gut. Another hard right spins Dokueki around only for her to to come back with a haymaker of her own that spins Melinda right around as well! Mel answers right back! The two lay into each other at that point with strikes back and forth until a blow actually staggers Dokueki! She starts responding less and less to each of Mel's strikes until one seemingly drops her right to her knee!
Mel then rushes in with a Low Orbit sliding STO but DOKUEKI CATCHES HER WITH A CLAW HOLD!!! Rising to a full stand with a smile, she CLAWSLAMS THE REBEL!!! She makes the pin and ONE! TWO!!!! TTTTHHRRRE-KICKOUT!!!! The Rebel rolls a shoulder! She rises with the Rebel firmly gripped by the arm and whips her into the far corner. Mel slumps in the corner, still shaken from the Claw slam. The Poison Dragon backs up, wipes her foot on the canvas, then bursts straight for her prone foe, leaping forward only to catch two boots to the chest that send her flailing back, hitting the canvas with a backroll across the ring. Hirata just smiles as she looks to the crowd, rising with her back turned. She turns and RHODES KILL SPEAR ROCKS HER OFF HER FEET WITH AN EXPLOSIVE IMPACT!!!! Melinda leaps to her feet with a double fist pump, bellowing a mighty rebel yell!!!!
Melinda circles as was always customary, turns on one foot, and stomps as she faces Dokueki, only to be surprised by seeing the monster on her feet, cradling her ribs and sporting a wicked grin on her face. The Rebel doesn't back down or show fear, just giving a determined look in her eyes as she brings her fists up. Dokueki slips into a stance of her own and the two approach. A fake out with a roundhouse kick causes Mel to bring her arms up, only for Dokueki to snap down and stomp her foot, followed by a piston kick to the gut that sends The Rebel into the ropes. She's all over the Rebel in seconds with knee shots and forearm strikes. The Referee moves in to separate them, only to get an irate Dokueki in the ref's face! Referee Kelly Kirk tries to defuse the situation but is saved by Melinda reminding The Dragon who her foe is by locking her into a tight rear naked choke! The two struggle as Dokueki proves hard to pull down to the mat, firing off a few stiff back elbows into Mel's ribs, followed by a back headbutt that sends her foe staggering back! Stunned, Mel falls through the ropes to the outside, seemingly KO'ed!!
Dokueki takes a moment to recover as the Referee starts the 10 count. The Poison Dragon placing her hands on her hips as Mel starts stirring outside. She sees the Rebel's hand on the apron at the count of NINE and promptly rolls out of the ring, gathering her foe up and slinging her back into the ring! Dokueki slides back in, wagging her finger with a little nod towards the nearest camera. Mel pushes up on her knuckles, a trickle of blood running down one side of her face. The headbutt had split her open, but the glare in her eyes said she wasn't dying without a fight! With grit teeth she gets to her feet, turns and SHINING BLACK MATRIX EVADED!!!!
Mel bends backwards then snaps forward, spinning around to catch an off balance Dokueki in that 3/4th Necklock! She leaps, but finds herself elevated and tossed into the nearest turnbuckle pad. Disoriented, she's easy prey for a fast thinking Dokueki who runs up behind her on the ropes, lifts her up and DRAGON'S DIVE!!!! THE REBEL IS DOWN! Dokueki crawls across her, clearly at the end of her own reserves as the referee counts the pin ONE! TWO! TTTTHHHHRRRREEEE!!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: HIRATA DOKUEKI!!!!
Koss: THE FANS ARE ON THEIR FEET!! WHAT A MATCH! WHAT. A. MATCH!!!!
Spazz: They fucking blew it all out in this match! I ain't ever sayin' Rebs can't go ever again!
Koss: Dokueki earned that win and then some!
Spazz: Fucking right you are, lunchbox!
SEGMENT
We are backstage at the Rose Arena and on standby ready to go is a whole lot of blonde stuffed in a golden dress, you guessed it folks it’s your hostess with the mostest the top graduate from journalism school of journalism: ChaCha! The blonde stands there holding the microphone like a pro.
ChaCha: Howdy ya’ll, it’s ChaCha here with the top scoop of the night ahead of tonight’s pseudo-main event the Ultimate Conquest Championship: I have an exclusive, never before aired chance to interview, the one, the only..the man of the hour, the tower of power, you know who I’m talking about don’t cha folks? That’s right the YORKSHIRE TERROR, C.C.M come on down lad!~
We see CCM’s head pop in to the shot.
CCM: Rest in peace Alex Trebek, and if you ever get bored of doing journalism I bet you'd make a wonderful gameshow host
ChaCha: D’aww thanks, I got the brains for it.
WMD: and lungs, should hear her scream sometimes.
CCM: I believe I just did.
WMD: Did what?
CCM: Heard her scream?
WMD: She did?
CCM: Yeah Dad, she did.
WMD: I didn’t hear it.
CCM: You missed it Dad.
WMD: Did I?
CCM: Yup, you missed it.
WMD: Missed what?
CCM: So ChaCha, throw me a hardball, no need to go soft on me, fire it up you lil’ imp of imperanable integrity!
She seems confused.
ChaCha: but..if I gotta throw a ball who’s holding the microphone? I didn’t even bring any balls, NOBODY SAID I NEEDED TO BRING PROPS! WHAT KIND OF MICKEY MOUSE BULLSHIT OPERATION IS THIS?!?
Both father and son seem baffled by her outburst.
WMD: maybe we should send her to wrestle instead?
CCM: Hey!
WMD: Look, sweetheart. This is supposed to be an interview about CCM, and his big chance against Luther Thunder for the Ultimate Conquest Championship tonight, why don’t you ask him about how he plans on beating Luther Thunder tonight since he already DID IT ONCE, on his bloody DEBUT to boot!
CCM: Oh I like that! Ask me that one!
ChaCha: Well how am I supposed to when he already did?! Didn’t you guys read the script!?
CCM: You got a script?
WMD: Not sure if I can even read..
Voice off camera: HOLD ON THERE JUST A MINUTE GENTLEMEN!
Luther Thunder the Ultimate Conquest Champion steps in with the title over his shoulder and his wife Esme right by his side he eyes at the trio in turns.
Luther: Gents, and lady.
WMD: Who the fuck is he calling gentle?
CCM: Must be you, I’m the one called Yorkshire TERROR
Esme steps in pushing ChaCha back a pace or two.
Esme: Back off bimbo. We are here to settle something.
ChaCha looks annoyed.
ChaCha: Listen here, you..
Esme steps at her, causing ChaCha to squeak and scurry away. CCM sighs, sensing it’s gonna be another of those days.
CCM: So here we are again. With you interrupting my interview. Again.
WMD: I swear if this ends up with me getting jumped another time...
CCM: Come to think of it that little mystery never got resolved, did it? But whatever. Luther Thunder and his plus size plus one. To what do we owe the pleasure?
Esme shoves CCM.
Esme: What did you say, you little runt?
WMD: I think he was calling you a bit chubby.
Esme HUH?
WMD: Tubby,
Esme: WHAT?
WMD: Overly plumptious.
Luther: You know, I’ve been making waves, winning championships... but now I think about it, I never crossed off my bucket list one thing. I think I owe YOU a little payback for the fast one you pulled on me, CCM.
WMD: We only accept proper currency and in cash, no paypal,money order or cheques.
CCM: No... I think he means he wants to beat me up. But that’s fine, you get your chance. Much like I get my chance to take THAT!
He pokes at the brand new unified title over Luther’s shoulder.
CCM: What is it they call you? “The male Ursula Von Rossbach”? Well unlike you, I’ve beaten the ACTUAL UVR, and you come to think of it, so let’s make it a double and show all these fine people what a REAL champion looks like!
WMD: Real UVR was easier on the eyes too.
Esme: HEY!
Older Millar smirks.
WMD: Ease up missus, If the kid takes the title. I could take you for a night out to town, show you a real gooood time and what a REAL MAN is like.
This fires up the Ultimate Conquest Champion who doesn’t hesitate, he jumps at the big man.
Luther: YOU SON OF A BITCH I’LL KILL YOU!
WMD Steps back as CCM dives for the legs taking down the angered Dutchman with a surprise chop block! Luther falls down and CCM lands on top of him, ready to throw a punch, but stops an inch away from the champ’s face.
CCM: ..on second thought, I’ll save it for the ring. People paid to see a Championship match, not a backstage altercation. See you out there “champ”
WMD yanks his kid up and the two men walk off we see Luther huffing and puffing like the Dutch big bad wolf.
Luther: I’ll kill them, both of them if I have to, I don’t give a shit if the other one is a midget and the other one’s an ancient. I’ll send them to Boris Johnson in a fucking box! You hear me, you pair of limey limp-dicks! YOUR DEAD!
Then Mr & Mrs Thunder realize ChaCha still stands there holding the microphone.
Luther: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
ChaCha seems annoyed rolling her eyes.
ChaCha: I’m here to get a scoop and I think I got one.
Esme: BEGONE BINT!
ChaCha: This is ChaCha signing out, have a good night SRW, WE LOVE YOUUUUU~
She clops away trying to do her own fade out as Esme glares after her.
Esme: If you plan on killing the two of them, leave her for me.
ULTIMATE CONQUEST CHAMPIONSHIP
-LUTHER THUNDER (C)-VS-CCM-
The match begins with a bell ring and CCM faking out Luther several times, looking to grapple only to bounce back and wag his finger or make some other smart taunt. The big man gets more than a little fed up at one point, overcommitting to a grapple attempt. CCM takes advantage, side stepping with a kick to the ribs followed by a second boot to the rear sending Thunder stumbling into the ropes! Thunder spins around, wild-eyed and angry as CCM dances back and forth on the opposite side of the ring. Shoving off the ropes he charges at CCM, who drops down, pulling the ropes at the last second and allowing Luther to fly out onto the floor! CCM then acts as if he's hurt his back, distracting the referee as WMD assaults the Conquest champion with knees, forearm strikes, and overhand clubbing blows to the back! Esme runs up behind WMD, catching him with a low blow that halts his assault, allowing Luther to get the upper hand with brutal multiple headbutts followed by THE SPINNING SPINEBUSTER THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!
Luther gets to his feet just in time to eat a sliding dropkick to the face from CCM! CCM takes advantage of his stunned state, battering him with forearm strikes and kicks, then slamming his head into the apron and the ring post. Esme shouts at him and the two engage in a little insult fest back and forth before he shoves her back. He goes for a slap but his wrist is caught by Luther and pulled right into a MILITARY PRESS SLAM!!! Luther rolls back under the ropes and then back out of the ring to find CCM crawling away from him. He grabs him by the ankle, pulling him up and slinging him back into the ring! CCM backs up from an irate Luther, scrambling to get to his feet! Luther takes a swing and CCM dodges, catching the arm and pulling him right to the ground with across armbar! Luther manages to get a leg on the ropes, forcing the break.
The two roll apart and are on their feet. CCM rises, stumbling and holding his head. Luther smiles and bolts forward snapping off THUNDERSTRUCK-NO! DUCKED! What Luther fails to notice is that CCM had stumbled in front of the referee and ducking the shot, the Referee takes the full brunt of the the powerful kick!!! Outside WMD slides a chair under the ropes which CCM picks up. Luther turns and *WHACK!!!!* Chair shot straight to the skull, BUT LUTHER DOESN'T GO DOWN!!!! CCM Hits another, which only seems to piss him off more! What isn't noticed, however, is WMD dragging Referee Moody out of the ring. Esme tries to stop him, only to get rocked off her feet by a brutal big boot!
Luther, meanwhile, catches CCM's chair on a third swing and rips it from his hands!!! As he goes to swing it, WMD moves in from behind, catching the chair and yanking it from him. Luther spins around, rearing his fist back only to stop when he sees CCM's father wearing a striped referee shirt. The shock is enough for CCM to roll in behind and yank him down for a schoolboy pin! "Referee" WMD fast counts the 1-2-3 on the spot!!!!
*DING DING DING!*
WINNER AND NEW ULTIMATE CONQUEST CHAMPION: CCM!!!
WMD pulls from his pocket a card which he holds up to a camera that reads "REGISTERED REFEREE, WINSTON DYSON-MILLER."
Koss: Wow that son of a bitch!
Spazz: Who knew WMD was a licensed referee?
Koss: Are we letting this stand?!
Spazz: Looks like it! Luther Thunder's gonna' have to come loaded for bear and maybe bring his own referee up in this motherfucker to take that belt back!!
Koss: This is insanity!
Spazz: Look up Wrestling in the dictionary. Wrestling and Insanity both have each other as the definition, yo!
SEGMENT
We see the House of Dix backstage, sitting on production crates. Dixon looks a little nervous.
Tracy: You know, I’ve never fought a match in a cage before.
House: Uh-huh.
Tracy: Yeah, I mean it’s kinda really hard to know what to expect. So many people, and the steel, and our championships are on the line as well. I like us being the Southern Cross champs, I don’t want us to lose.
House nods.
House: We’s not gonna lose. Me’s has a plan.
Tracy smiles.
Tracy: Awesome! Er... can I get in on this plan?
House nods again.
House: You’s know da cage?
Dixon: Yeah?
House: If you smack your head on it, it hurts wight?
Dixon: I would imagine so.
House: SOOOO... if we smack our opponents heads into da cage, an’ don’t let them smack our heads into da cage... dey’ll hurt more than us and dat means we’ll win! Wight?
Dixon: ........That’s not a plan, Wends, that’s basic common sense.
House looks offended.
House: Alwight smarty pants, what’s you’s big idea den? As you’s appawently all clued in on da ins an’ outs of cagey matches.
Dixon: I never said that...
House: You’s said me’s amazin’ intwicate plan was common sense. So if dat’s common for you’s, you clearly know more than House does. So please elabowate!
Dixon: Look the problem is that we don’t have to even get pinned to lose, right?
House: Wight.
Dixon: So what if these four women settle the match for themselves just to kick us out of the equation.
Wendy slams a clenched fist to her palm
House: Those Wat bastawds!
Then she tilts her head.
House: We’s still get a rematchy though, even if we lose? So think of it like a continue, or an extra life, maybe even a life insurance for our championships.
Dixon: Enough with the videogame analogy, this is not a game! It’s real life.
House: LIFE is a game Twace, we’s just gotta win. Keep you’s back to da cage at all times, eyes on da pwize. You’s gotta be smart. You’s gotta be tough. You’s GOTTA FIGHT! For your RIGHT! TO PAAAARTTTTY~
Dixon: HOUSE! That isn’t helping!
House: Me’s gettin’ into stweet House mode! We’s gotta get wough an’ weady. Beasties helps us, much like da House of Pain we come out to. It all about da nineties mindset. Thuggin’ an’ buggin’.
Dixon: House...
House: Me’s gwew up on da stweets, me’s tough as a two dollar steak. CANADIAN.
Dixon: Inflation sure struck hard on your puns.
House: You’s inflated!
Dixon: Luckily you we won’t have to rely on your wits to win tonight..
House: or your tits! Ha!
Tracy looks at her chest then at House.
Dixon: If we did, I’d win.
Wendy frowns, then pouts.
House: Meanie! Dat’s not fair, me’s a kid!
Dixon smiles.
Dixon: Yeah? Well recess is over kiddo, time to get to the ring. You ready?
House thinks for a second then nods.
Dixon: Great. Let’s go retain these titles!
Dixon walks off with House skipping behind. We head back to ringside.
MAIN EVENT
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
TRIPLE THREAT TORNADO TAG STEEL CAGE MATCH
-HOUSE OF DIX (C)-VS-SOCIALITES-VS-RIOT SQUAD-
CREDITS
-VALERIE BEASLEY-VS-BRUTUS HEART-
(RC)
-CHERRY DEVILLE-VS-JERRY WATTS-
(RC)
-CHELSEA WINSTON-VS-FAYE LANGE-
(Alex)
-CHRISTINA ZDUNICH-VS-MAJA LINDSTROM-
(Alex)
-MARIA SALVATORE-VS-JUSTICE CROSS-
(Alex)
-PRETTY COMMITTEE-VS-WILDSIDE-
(Alex)
-HALO (C)-VS-JULIET BLACK-
(Alex)
-HIRATA DOKUEKI-VS-MELINDA RHODES-
(RC)
-LUTHER THUNDER (C)-VS-CCM-
(RC)
-HOUSE OF DIX (C)-VS-SOCIALITES-VS-RIOT SQUAD-
(Alex)
-------------------------------------
SPECIAL THANKS
Alex, who is the most dependable Clockwork Ninja ever to set foot into a fed. Thank you so much bud!
Card is Subject to Change
ROME, GA
BELL TIME 7PM EST
INTRO
The Pyro explodes as Halestorms "Ain't Afraid of Losing" plays over the P/A system. The crowd is into it, devil horns in the air as heads thrash wildly to the beat. The lights flash red and white, the Rebel Star Productions logo followed by the SRW Banner graphic and a highlight reel video play across the screen. Jenny Beck is already in the ring, dressed in her finest leather outfit, a wicked grin on her face.
Jenny Beck: S....R....W....FAITHFUL! SSSSCCCCRRRREEEEEAAAAAAMMMM FOR ME!!!
The crowd erupts into cheers for the rock n' roll hostess of Savage Thursday!
Jenny: LET YOUR SAVAGE OUT!! IT'S THURSDAY!! YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO!!!! MAKE SOME NOISE FOR JOE KOSS AND MIKE SPAZZ!!!
The camera then cuts to Joe and Mike at ringside, Joe giving a little bow to the crowd while Mike just leans back in his seat with his usual impish grin.
Joe Koss: Sparing us the need to introduce ourselves, Jenny Beck, ladies and gentlemen!
Mike Spazz: Jenny knows how to pump them fans up yo!
Koss: Indeed! Another action packed night coming up ahead of us. We expect to hear from Ursula Von Rossbach after the heinous attack perpetrated on her last week by Mercy and Sin.
Spazz: I seriously thought they was dead n' shit. Where the fuck they been all this time?
Koss: They were likely working outlaw wrestling promotions that fly under the radar and only have videos on the dark web. The kind where people typically leave the ring in body bags.
Spazz: Them outlaw feds will always fuck you, Kinda' like that place, what was it called.... Cock Wrestling Fiesta?
Koss: Crap Wrestling Federation is probably a better term, but let's not mention inferior wrestling products on Melinda Rhodes dime. Instead, we've got great matches with the newly minted Ultimate Conquest Championship being defended as well as the Hardcore and Tag Team Titles up for grabs!
Spazz: Speaking of the Boss, what the fuck does she think she's doing getting in the ring with Hirata Dokueki tonight? She's a straight up motherfucking killer dawg!
Koss: I don't know, but it's not the first time she's stepped into the ring against someone, though last time it can be argued that she was more into doing what was right for business than anything else. It seems like she has something to prove with accepting this challenge.
Spazz: Far be it for me to question the boss as Mel's a tough ass bitch, but she's, what, almost 40 and not exactly in peak shape anymore right?
Koss: You tell that to a true competitor in this sport. Now enough on that. We've got a debut match to get to.
Spazz: Oh yeah new chick debuting up in this shiz!
Koss: Valerie Beasley is waiting at Gorilla position with something to say before her big debut!
Jenny Beck: S....R....W....FAITHFUL! SSSSCCCCRRRREEEEEAAAAAAMMMM FOR ME!!!
The crowd erupts into cheers for the rock n' roll hostess of Savage Thursday!
Jenny: LET YOUR SAVAGE OUT!! IT'S THURSDAY!! YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO!!!! MAKE SOME NOISE FOR JOE KOSS AND MIKE SPAZZ!!!
The camera then cuts to Joe and Mike at ringside, Joe giving a little bow to the crowd while Mike just leans back in his seat with his usual impish grin.
Joe Koss: Sparing us the need to introduce ourselves, Jenny Beck, ladies and gentlemen!
Mike Spazz: Jenny knows how to pump them fans up yo!
Koss: Indeed! Another action packed night coming up ahead of us. We expect to hear from Ursula Von Rossbach after the heinous attack perpetrated on her last week by Mercy and Sin.
Spazz: I seriously thought they was dead n' shit. Where the fuck they been all this time?
Koss: They were likely working outlaw wrestling promotions that fly under the radar and only have videos on the dark web. The kind where people typically leave the ring in body bags.
Spazz: Them outlaw feds will always fuck you, Kinda' like that place, what was it called.... Cock Wrestling Fiesta?
Koss: Crap Wrestling Federation is probably a better term, but let's not mention inferior wrestling products on Melinda Rhodes dime. Instead, we've got great matches with the newly minted Ultimate Conquest Championship being defended as well as the Hardcore and Tag Team Titles up for grabs!
Spazz: Speaking of the Boss, what the fuck does she think she's doing getting in the ring with Hirata Dokueki tonight? She's a straight up motherfucking killer dawg!
Koss: I don't know, but it's not the first time she's stepped into the ring against someone, though last time it can be argued that she was more into doing what was right for business than anything else. It seems like she has something to prove with accepting this challenge.
Spazz: Far be it for me to question the boss as Mel's a tough ass bitch, but she's, what, almost 40 and not exactly in peak shape anymore right?
Koss: You tell that to a true competitor in this sport. Now enough on that. We've got a debut match to get to.
Spazz: Oh yeah new chick debuting up in this shiz!
Koss: Valerie Beasley is waiting at Gorilla position with something to say before her big debut!
SEGMENT
We cut to the backstage area where Valerie Beasley is standing inside the gorilla position. She is getting loosed up as her friend and manager JT Holt is standing next to her.
JT: Are you ready girl?
VB: I am a little nervous. I haven't been in the ring for two years.
JT nods his head.
JT: I understand but The Fist is going to kill it.
Valerie nods her head while fist bumping him.
VB: Brutus Heat better Beware the Fist.
JT smiles as they continue to get her ready as the cameras cut away.
-VALERIE BEASLEY-VS-BRUTUS HEART-
The match opens with Brutus posing for the crowd a bit, talking a little smack. Val is a bit more serious as she circles her foe. He takes her arm, going for an armdrag but she flips with it, landing on her feet and unleashing with the BEASLEY SHUFFLE!!! Brutus is staggered and left open for a dropkick that sends him into the ropes! He manages to snap off the ropes, rebounding with a clothesline, but Val ducks with a split drop, then spins to her feet in break-dancer fashion! Brutus comes back with a high kick which Val side steps and THE FIST!!! Brutus drops like a chopped tree and Valerie rolls over him, hooking the leg for the 1-2-3!!!
WINNER: VALERIE BEASLEY!!!!
Spazz: She out classed that greasy spunk monkey from the moment he opened his gob thinking he had a shot!
Koss: Valerie is clearly the excellence of execution this night!
SEGMENT
The Rebel is in her office, working over a punching bag and clearly getting prepped for her match against Dokueki later in the night. Into the office steps a fully suited Ursula Von Rossbach without even so much as a knock. This doesn't bother Mel in the slightest as she turns, brushing a bit of hair from her forehead.
Rebel: Figured you were sending a video packet. Gave you the night off after what happened last show.
Ursula places her gloved hands behind her back and inclines her head forward.
UVR: Whatever they want, grant it Melinda.
Rebel: Who...
UVR: You know who. Do not insult my intelligence by feigning ignorance.
Mel nods her head and settles down in her desk chair and scoots up to the desk, looking up at Ursula now.
Rebel: You want me to give them a contract with the bells and whistles I take it?
The Lady Terminator is in no mood to negotiate. The grim, stone-like expression she wears upon her face spoke to the severity of how she feels in this very moment.
UVR: I want Mercy and Sin. I demand the privilege of standing before them in that very ring and tearing their bodies and souls apart. You bore witness to what they did to me. Either I have them or I remind you of just who I am.
Melinda rises from her seat, hands on the table as she matches Ursula's gaze.
Rebel: So you're going to make me the same offer you made Samantha Bevins in ACE... You'll destroy every motherfucker to get what you want?
Ursula leans forward, face inches from Melinda's own.
UVR: I have no need to do that. You owe me because as a witness, you did nothing to stop them. Melinda Rhodes, the great savior, failed me in a time of need. It did not matter what my stance was at the time, but what happened to me.... I didn't deserve it and you know it.
The Rebel stares into her eyes with such fire, anger and guilt simmering beneath the surface.
Rebel: ...You're right. You were a mortal enemy, but if I was so righteous, I'd have stopped them but I just sat by and let them roll your ass out. Nah, I just showed my weakness because...fuck...
Her head lowers and she pulls back from Ursula.
UVR: ...You had given up on me, as had I. The two of us were beyond salvation in our own unique ways, guilty of crimes that others still judge us for to this day. The differences between us were that you at least tried to fight your darker nature. We failed in different ways that night, but in our failure something happened that neither of us anticipated. We looked within ourselves and saw the truth within. We are not so different, you and I. Broken things are we, shaped by the lies we told ourselves for so long.
Melinda drops down in her chair, head tilted back as she finally looks back up at Ursula. A sardonic smile sweeps across Mel's face.
Rebel: Alright, if you're done playing me psychologically, let me give you the short answer. I'll track them down and sign Mercy & Sin to a contract and set the match up, but I'm going to up the ante, Ursula. Eye for an Eye. You face Mercy & Sin in a Buried Alive match. You can bury both or one to win. Find a partner of your choice or face them alone, you're going to have between now and the upcoming PPV, Death March. Choose wisely.
Ursula bows her head cordially, offering a smile in return.
UVR: Thank you.
Rebel: No need to thank me. Just kick the living fuck out of those bitches.
Turning with a small, satisfied smile on her face, Ursula exits the room and Melinda visibly sags in her chair.
Spazz: That was fucking intense...
Koss: The history between the Champion and The Rebel is a long and storied one, filled with pain both ways.
Spazz: She also name dropped our next PPV!
Koss: That's right, coming in March, SRW presents Death March! Just one more show before it goes down. For now though, Cherry Deville faces Jerry Watts next!
Rebel: Figured you were sending a video packet. Gave you the night off after what happened last show.
Ursula places her gloved hands behind her back and inclines her head forward.
UVR: Whatever they want, grant it Melinda.
Rebel: Who...
UVR: You know who. Do not insult my intelligence by feigning ignorance.
Mel nods her head and settles down in her desk chair and scoots up to the desk, looking up at Ursula now.
Rebel: You want me to give them a contract with the bells and whistles I take it?
The Lady Terminator is in no mood to negotiate. The grim, stone-like expression she wears upon her face spoke to the severity of how she feels in this very moment.
UVR: I want Mercy and Sin. I demand the privilege of standing before them in that very ring and tearing their bodies and souls apart. You bore witness to what they did to me. Either I have them or I remind you of just who I am.
Melinda rises from her seat, hands on the table as she matches Ursula's gaze.
Rebel: So you're going to make me the same offer you made Samantha Bevins in ACE... You'll destroy every motherfucker to get what you want?
Ursula leans forward, face inches from Melinda's own.
UVR: I have no need to do that. You owe me because as a witness, you did nothing to stop them. Melinda Rhodes, the great savior, failed me in a time of need. It did not matter what my stance was at the time, but what happened to me.... I didn't deserve it and you know it.
The Rebel stares into her eyes with such fire, anger and guilt simmering beneath the surface.
Rebel: ...You're right. You were a mortal enemy, but if I was so righteous, I'd have stopped them but I just sat by and let them roll your ass out. Nah, I just showed my weakness because...fuck...
Her head lowers and she pulls back from Ursula.
UVR: ...You had given up on me, as had I. The two of us were beyond salvation in our own unique ways, guilty of crimes that others still judge us for to this day. The differences between us were that you at least tried to fight your darker nature. We failed in different ways that night, but in our failure something happened that neither of us anticipated. We looked within ourselves and saw the truth within. We are not so different, you and I. Broken things are we, shaped by the lies we told ourselves for so long.
Melinda drops down in her chair, head tilted back as she finally looks back up at Ursula. A sardonic smile sweeps across Mel's face.
Rebel: Alright, if you're done playing me psychologically, let me give you the short answer. I'll track them down and sign Mercy & Sin to a contract and set the match up, but I'm going to up the ante, Ursula. Eye for an Eye. You face Mercy & Sin in a Buried Alive match. You can bury both or one to win. Find a partner of your choice or face them alone, you're going to have between now and the upcoming PPV, Death March. Choose wisely.
Ursula bows her head cordially, offering a smile in return.
UVR: Thank you.
Rebel: No need to thank me. Just kick the living fuck out of those bitches.
Turning with a small, satisfied smile on her face, Ursula exits the room and Melinda visibly sags in her chair.
Spazz: That was fucking intense...
Koss: The history between the Champion and The Rebel is a long and storied one, filled with pain both ways.
Spazz: She also name dropped our next PPV!
Koss: That's right, coming in March, SRW presents Death March! Just one more show before it goes down. For now though, Cherry Deville faces Jerry Watts next!
-CHERRY DEVILLE-VS-JERRY WATTS-
The bell rings and Jerry is distracted by the crowd saying rather harsh things about him. The big man leans over the ropes, arguing with a few in the front row. When he finally disengages, he's backhanded hard by Cherry, dropping to one knee with a shocked look on his face. He quickly shoots up only to take another shot to the jaw that sends him flailing back into the ropes! He snaps off and throws lumber. Cherry ducks the lariat, hops onto the second rope, then the top, and back flips off to catch him with a springboard clothesline that rocks him off his feet! Cherry puts Jerry into the PIN UP STRONG and gets a tap out victory!!!
WINNER BY SUBMISSION: CHERRY DEVILLE!!!
Spazz: Jerry got his ass HANDED to him!
Koss: In-fucking-deed! He looked like a fool out there tonight!
Spazz: That's why you shouldn't let the monkeys in the crowd get under your skin! You start fucking around with the front row too much, it could lead to you geting yo ass KICKED son!
Koss: In-fucking-deed! He looked like a fool out there tonight!
Spazz: That's why you shouldn't let the monkeys in the crowd get under your skin! You start fucking around with the front row too much, it could lead to you geting yo ass KICKED son!
COMMERCIAL
-CHELSEA WINSTON-VS-FAYE LANGE-
As the bell sounds, the crowd marvels at the sight of two six-foot-tall women staring each other in the eyes. The two lock-up in a traditional collar and elbow tie-up. They spin, each trying to overpower the other like two bulls locked in mortal combat over territory. As Winston looks to take a side headlock, Lange snaps off a stiff reverse knife-edge chop and Winston’s knees start to buckle from the impact. Lange looks for a second one but Winston is able to duck and catch Lange going by for a hangman’s-style neckbreaker. They hit hard and Winston goes for the cover.
Lange kicks out.
Winston tries to get the mount position but Lange rolls her into a cradle.
Winston kicks out.
Winston catches Lange with a roundhouse kick to the head and then grabs for a clinch and knees the Danish woman in the face. Winston gives her a couple more knees and then hits a butterfly suplex. Winston covers.
Lange kicks out.
Winston goes for the Predator Lock but Lange biels her over and then kicks her between the shoulder blades. As Winston grimaces from the impact, Lange rolls over into another cradle.
Winston kicks out.
As the two start up to their feet, Lange catches Winston for a spinebuster and holds for the pin.
Winston kicks out.
Winston punches up and reverses the pin position.
Lange kicks out.
Lange goes for another reversal but Winston spins it into a reverse powerbomb and then rolls her over for the cover.
Lange kicks out.
Winston goes for the Predator Lock again but Lange smashes her back first into the turnbuckles to stop it. Lange hits a couple of nasty and devastating back elbow smashes to the face and then scoops Winston up across her shoulders. Lange staggers a few steps away from the corner and then hits the Maelstrom. Winston goes down and Lange covers.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: FAYE LANGE!!!
Koss: Faye Lange with a stacked win over Chelsea Winston here tonight!
Spazz: Chelsea's a couple inches taller but that ain't stopping the big Red Engine of Stomp Yo Ass Dead As FucK!
Koss: A well fought and deserved victory.
SEGMENT
"Unforgiven" by Sevendust plays from the arena speaker systems into the ears of the fans in attendance as through the curtains emerges the imposing form of Ursula Von Rossbach, clad in her custom, three piece suit and carrying her crown, the Queen of The South championship upon her shoulder and a microphone in her gloved hand. She makes her way down the aisle to ringside, enters the ring, and gets straight to the business at hand.
UVR: Becky Mercy. Tracy Sin. It has been a very long time indeed since last we met. In and out of consciousness I slipped as you somehow ferried a small, rusty municipal dumpster out into the middle of a desert in Nevada and buried me alive. You left me to die in twenty-fifteen and yet it was your arrogant assumption that I would accept my fate and simply die that lead you to the ultimate failure. For years you evaded my efforts to discover where you were, likely by accident rather than design. So what has changed that has allowed you to believe that six years later would be the perfect time to strike?
Ursula tilts her head a bit, casting her gaze around the crowd.
UVR: This is not The Pitt and the last I heard your original employer was found burned to death in the smoldering ruins of his own arena. You haven't been seen in a professional wrestling ring in quite a few years, likely working outlaw wrestling promotions that operate illegally and under the radar. So what makes this so special? Why now?
The opening chords of Destrophy's "Paint it Black" sound, only to abruptly cut as the faces of Mercy & Sin appear on the screen. This gains Ursula's immediate rapt attention.
Becky: We don't like leaving business unfinished, Ursie-poo! You see, we left you in the desert and just forgot aaaaall about you like a bad mom forgets about her child at the doorstep of a nunnery. You abused me and Tracy-kins sooooo much and when big bad Karen Hardy put you in your place? Well.... Ms. Thang, we took our shot and put you down. Thing is, you're not the first we ever done that to. The desert is full of our victims left in places that noooobody will ever find them even if they look hard enough. You're the only one to rise from her grave! That's a baaaad Ursula. We've got to correct that and put you back to bed!
Tracy suddenly roars at the screen.
Tracy: THE GRAVE HUNGERS FOR YOUR FLESH!!!! YOU WILL NOT DENY YOUR DESTINY!!!!
Ursula quirks her brow at the two women on screen, tilting her head to the right as she allows them to continue.
Becky: We're gonna' bury you so deep that when they find your fossilized remains they'll think you were born in the Jurassic period!
Tracy: MAGGOTS WILL FEAST ON YOUR ROTTING ASSHOLE!!!
UVR: You still have Tourette's syndrome I see, Ms. Sin. Now BE SILENT WORMS! I not only grant your request, but on the terms that our match shall be a Buried Alive match. The two of you against me and me alone. This is not about gold or glory but satisfaction. I SHALL HAVE AVENGE MYSELF UPON YOU!
Ursula quivers with rage unrestrained.
UVR: The suffering, indignity, and humiliation I experienced will pale in comparison to what I do to a pair of jackals like the two of you.
Suddenly Becky points up, nodding with a big grin. Ursula looks up and immediately a torrent of actual desert sand rains down on her! She barely closes her eyes and mouth in time to keep from getting it in her eyes and mouth. Becky laughs maniacally as Tracy growls. The Lady Terminator tilts her head forward, fighting to keep her composure as the sand pours for what feels like an eternity, piling up at her feet.
Becky: You should recognize the sand.... that's from your grave, champ, where we're going to put you back-
Tracy: ONCE AND FOR AAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!
The feed cuts and Ursula casually brushes the dirt from her shoulders and whips her hair back to remove a good chunk of it from her head. She then exits the ring without music or fanfare.
Koss: There's desert sand everywhere!
Spazz: That ring would be the last place Darth Vader would ever wanna' be. You know that big motherfucker hates sand!
Koss: True! We have to clean up our ringside area so now is the perfect time for a commercial!
COMMERCIAL
The bell sounds and Christina motions at Maja to come on. Maja nods and moves in. The two lock-up in a traditional collar and elbow tie-up. Christina quickly takes a side headlock. Maja goes to shove her off but Christina side steps, executes a standings witch and then runs Maja to the ropes for an O’Connor roll.
Maja kicks out.
Christina falls into the ropes and bounces back into Maja’s waiting arms. Maja tries for a bridging German suplex but Christina flips through and lands on her feet. Maja gos to turn to face her and Christian catches her with the Flashing Lights. Maja goes down hard and Christina covers.
Maja kicks out.
Christina tries to take a top wrist lock but Maja almost immediately powers up to her fet. Christina tries to maintain her dominance but Maja snaps off a wicked chop to the chest. Christina staggers back and Maja hits her with another one before going for Angel’s Demise. Christina is able to block and push her off. Maja goes to the ropes and springboards into Thunderstruck. Maja covers. .
Christina kicks out.
Maja gets up and goes to the corner. She ascends to the top and leaps off with Eye of the Storm.
Christina gets a shoulder up.
As they start back up, Christina knees maja in the face and then hits Smell the Roses for a cover, hooking the leg.
Maja kicks out.
Christina pulls her up to go for Rock & Roll but Maja reverses into a bridging northern lights suplex.
Christina kicks out.
The two get to their feet and Maja kicks Christina in the gut. She hooks both arms and then delivers In The Red. Maja rolls Christina over and covers, hooking both legs.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: MAJA LINDSTROM!!!
Maja kicks out.
Christina falls into the ropes and bounces back into Maja’s waiting arms. Maja tries for a bridging German suplex but Christina flips through and lands on her feet. Maja gos to turn to face her and Christian catches her with the Flashing Lights. Maja goes down hard and Christina covers.
Maja kicks out.
Christina tries to take a top wrist lock but Maja almost immediately powers up to her fet. Christina tries to maintain her dominance but Maja snaps off a wicked chop to the chest. Christina staggers back and Maja hits her with another one before going for Angel’s Demise. Christina is able to block and push her off. Maja goes to the ropes and springboards into Thunderstruck. Maja covers. .
Christina kicks out.
Maja gets up and goes to the corner. She ascends to the top and leaps off with Eye of the Storm.
Christina gets a shoulder up.
As they start back up, Christina knees maja in the face and then hits Smell the Roses for a cover, hooking the leg.
Maja kicks out.
Christina pulls her up to go for Rock & Roll but Maja reverses into a bridging northern lights suplex.
Christina kicks out.
The two get to their feet and Maja kicks Christina in the gut. She hooks both arms and then delivers In The Red. Maja rolls Christina over and covers, hooking both legs.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: MAJA LINDSTROM!!!
Koss: Maja Lindstrom with her first win in a long time in the SRW Ring!
Spazz: Long Island Crystal Z gave it her all but nobody fucks with my Swedereole!!
Koss: Not tonight at least!
Spazz: Long Island Crystal Z gave it her all but nobody fucks with my Swedereole!!
Koss: Not tonight at least!
SEGMENT
The camera opens upon Halo standing in front of a barren table and staring at it as if the possibilities before her are endless. She nods as she notices the camera and turns to face it.
Halo: So, here we go, y’all. My second defense of the SRW Hardcore Championship and we’re goin’ from a big ass Viking lady in Faye Lange to a former champion and one fo the mst notoriously hardcore motherfuckers in Juliet Black!
Pausing momentarily, Halo frowns slightly.
Halo: Sorry, let me try that one again, y’all….
Closing her eyes, Halo pats herself on the chest as she takes a deep breath. As she lets it out, she opens her eyes and looks dead into the camera.
Halo: Juliet Mothafuckin’ Black!
She nods to herself as if suddenly, everything is all proper with the world again.
Halo: Ok, I feel better now.
She snickers to herself almost playfully.
Halo: Just had to go back and say that name right proper on account that ain’t a name you say without putin’ the proper stank on it!
Nodding, Halo picks up the SRW Hardcore Championship belt.
Halo: So me and Juliet gonna come in hot and have us a banger and you know why?
She leans in as if sharing a secret only a few know.
Halo: Because ain’t neither one of us wanna walk out of this motherfucker and feel like we could have done more! Neither one of us wants to do anything less than what we get because neither one of us wants to give anyone an excuse to send us back where we came from! Me and Juliet gonna walk into that ring and do our damndest to make sure ain’t neither one of us walkin’ the hell out!
She holds up the Hardcore Championship for all to see.
Halo: And I know we are both gonna do our damndest to make sure when they’re wheelin’ us out, that we’re the one holdin’ this!
She lowers the championship and smirks into the camera.
Halo: This is gonna be the nastiest shindig y’all done ever seen!
-MARIA SALVATORE-VS-JUSTICE CROSS-
The referee calls for the bell. Maria Salvatore nods and it sounds as if on her cue. Justice Cross meets her in the middle of the ring and Maria just waves her hands dismissively as if Justice is absolutely no threat to her at all. Justice just stares back and Maria nods before bitch slapping the taste out of Justice’s mouth. Justice staggers and Maria goes for a brainbuster. Justice knees her in the face on the way up and then rolls down into a small package.
Maria angrily kicks out.
As the two make it to their feet, Maria slaps Justice again and then hits a knee to the gut. Justice doubles over and Maria snaps off a ddt. Justice hits hard and Maria rolls her over into a backslide.
Justice kicks out.
Maria goes for a la magistral cradle.
Justice kicks out.
Maria slaps Justice a third time and goes for an inside cradle of her own.
Justice kicks out.
The two women get to their feet and Maria jumps up into a crucifix pin attempt.
Justice kicks out again.
Maria slaps the mat in frustration and then smirks playfully. As Justice gets up, Maria goes to slap her yet again. Justice catches the hand and slaps Maria back. Maria tries to laugh it off only for Justice to run her over with a big clothesline. Justice mounts Maria and starts hammering away with punches to the face. Maria tries to roll into another cradle only for Justice to pick her up and powerbomb her back down. Justice covers.
Maria kicks out.
Maria tries to get away but Justice grabs her by the tights, pulls her and hits a bridging German suplex.
Maria gets a shoulder up.
As the two rise to their feet again. Maria starts to throw wild slaps as if she can't believe the audacity and insolence of her opponent to stand against her. Justice waits for her to come in and jumps into Lights Out. Maria hits the mat hard and Justice rolls her over into the pin.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: JUSTICE CROSS!!!
Spazz: Justice beats the Mafia heiress like a red headed step bitch!
Koss: A great match for Justice Cross but Maria Salvatore fell a little short this night.
Maria angrily kicks out.
As the two make it to their feet, Maria slaps Justice again and then hits a knee to the gut. Justice doubles over and Maria snaps off a ddt. Justice hits hard and Maria rolls her over into a backslide.
Justice kicks out.
Maria goes for a la magistral cradle.
Justice kicks out.
Maria slaps Justice a third time and goes for an inside cradle of her own.
Justice kicks out.
The two women get to their feet and Maria jumps up into a crucifix pin attempt.
Justice kicks out again.
Maria slaps the mat in frustration and then smirks playfully. As Justice gets up, Maria goes to slap her yet again. Justice catches the hand and slaps Maria back. Maria tries to laugh it off only for Justice to run her over with a big clothesline. Justice mounts Maria and starts hammering away with punches to the face. Maria tries to roll into another cradle only for Justice to pick her up and powerbomb her back down. Justice covers.
Maria kicks out.
Maria tries to get away but Justice grabs her by the tights, pulls her and hits a bridging German suplex.
Maria gets a shoulder up.
As the two rise to their feet again. Maria starts to throw wild slaps as if she can't believe the audacity and insolence of her opponent to stand against her. Justice waits for her to come in and jumps into Lights Out. Maria hits the mat hard and Justice rolls her over into the pin.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: JUSTICE CROSS!!!
Spazz: Justice beats the Mafia heiress like a red headed step bitch!
Koss: A great match for Justice Cross but Maria Salvatore fell a little short this night.
SEGMENT
The camera opens upon the members of Wildside, Seleana and Zenna Zdunich, looking slightly upset at their current situation.
Zenna Zdunich: Idiotkommittén.
Both sisters suddenly look like they’ve smelled something nasty.
Seleana Zdunich: Again…
Zenna nods grimly.
Zenna Zdunich: So it wasn’t enough for you to fuck over Halo in SCU. Then you had to come here and do it again and then fuck us over in WWA.
Seleana glares hatefully.
Seleana Zdunich: Smakar tårarna bra?
Zenna’s eyes flash the same hatred.
Zenna Zdunich: They should since you like bitter things and we will be sure to make that sweet taste turn to ashes in your mouth!
Seleana jabs a finger accusingly at the camera.
Seleana Zdunich: We are going to make you choke on it as if you spent too long at one of your fancy clubs and ate too much of something that did not agree with you. We are so keen for this, I don’t think we’ve been this keen for something since I opened the door and allowed Shenzi, Linnea and Maja to enter the Unleashed pay-per-view in Hybrid Wrestling and we attacked the Kingdom because of an incident where one of them kicked our sister in the face!
Zenna nods her agreement.
Zenna Zdunich: That was fun and I am very keen to do likewise here with Idiotkommittén. You have kicked sand in our faces far too often for far too long and now we come to push you back into the blue locker you already shit in! We know you will shit in there again, you cannot stop yourselves. You are addicted to the rush and you seem to think it is your birthright to do so. We are keen to show you the consequences of such acts!
Seleana nods firmly.
Seleana Zdunich: Välkommen till djungeln!
Zenna glares likewise.
Zenna Zdunich: Din skit stinker också!
Zenna Zdunich: Idiotkommittén.
Both sisters suddenly look like they’ve smelled something nasty.
Seleana Zdunich: Again…
Zenna nods grimly.
Zenna Zdunich: So it wasn’t enough for you to fuck over Halo in SCU. Then you had to come here and do it again and then fuck us over in WWA.
Seleana glares hatefully.
Seleana Zdunich: Smakar tårarna bra?
Zenna’s eyes flash the same hatred.
Zenna Zdunich: They should since you like bitter things and we will be sure to make that sweet taste turn to ashes in your mouth!
Seleana jabs a finger accusingly at the camera.
Seleana Zdunich: We are going to make you choke on it as if you spent too long at one of your fancy clubs and ate too much of something that did not agree with you. We are so keen for this, I don’t think we’ve been this keen for something since I opened the door and allowed Shenzi, Linnea and Maja to enter the Unleashed pay-per-view in Hybrid Wrestling and we attacked the Kingdom because of an incident where one of them kicked our sister in the face!
Zenna nods her agreement.
Zenna Zdunich: That was fun and I am very keen to do likewise here with Idiotkommittén. You have kicked sand in our faces far too often for far too long and now we come to push you back into the blue locker you already shit in! We know you will shit in there again, you cannot stop yourselves. You are addicted to the rush and you seem to think it is your birthright to do so. We are keen to show you the consequences of such acts!
Seleana nods firmly.
Seleana Zdunich: Välkommen till djungeln!
Zenna glares likewise.
Zenna Zdunich: Din skit stinker också!
-PRETTY COMMITTEE-VS-WILDSIDE-
The bell sounds and with Bianca and Simon holding the referee’s attention, Veronica goes to spray Zenna in the face with the perfume. Seleana catches the hand and knocks the sprayer away. Zenna kicks Veronica and Wildside hooks her for a double snap suplex. On impact, Bianca comes running over to help her partner only to be caught for a double flapjack from Wildside. Simon drops down to the floor and runs over to retrieve Veronica’s perfume. The referee moves in to regain order and starts to order both teams to get one member out of the ring. Zenna points at both Pretty Committee members but the referee will hear none of it and starts to move her back to ehr team’s corner. Bianca and Veronica hit Seleana low and Veronica hurries to their corner as Bianca pulls Seleana into a small package.
Seleana kicks out.
Bianca takes her by the hair to the Pretty Committee corner and tags in Veronica. The two give Seleana Plausible Deniability and Veronica covers as Bianca steps out.
Seleana gets a shoulder up.
Veronica tags in Bianca and the Pretty Committee hits Seleana with the Spa Day. Bianca covers with Veronica stepping out.
Zenna breaks up the pin.
Veronica comes in and switches places with Bianca while the referee moves Zenna back to her corner. Bianca makes a loud clap sound and the referee turns around, signaling for a tag based on the sound. Veronica rakes Seleana’s eyes and then hits the Ultra Fabulous. She tags in Bianca who moves in and covers Seleana.
Zenna makes the save.
Veronica tries to hit Zenna and gets flipped into a belly to belly suplex that hits Bianca and knocks her into the corner. Zenna hits a rushing clothesline and then comes out for a big boot on Veronica before heading back to her corner. Seleana crawls over and makes the tag. Zenna comes in and catches Veronica for the Fatal Kiss. Bianca comes back and Zenna takes her down into the Painkiller. Veronica breaks it up and Seleana crashes into Veronica’s back with a running knee. Veronica tumbles to the floor and Seleana hits the Kattöga on Bianca. Zenna gets to her feet and Widlside grabs Bianca. Seleana puts Bianca up on her shoulders as Zenna goes to the corner. Zenna leaps off and Wildside hits Bianca with Ride The Lightning. Zenna covers Bianca.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNERS BY PINFALL: WILDSIDE!!!
As soon as the three comes down, Veronica rolls back in and sprays both Zdunich Sisters in the face with her perfume. Both sisters stagger back, now blinded for the moment. Bianca gets to her feet and they hit Zenna with the Ugliness Remover. The Pretty Committee knocks Seleana down and then hit her with the Prettyfyer. The two make their way out to Simon on the floor, spraying the perfume about as they smirk at their handiwork.
Koss: Wildside with the victory but what a disgusting display of poor sportswomanship by the Pretty Committee!!
Spazz: BOO!!! YOU BITCHES SUCK IN EVERY WAY BUT THE ONE I WANT!!!!
Koss: Mikey it's 2021! You can't say that! You'll get Hashtag Cancelled!
Spazz: Fuck that shit. My twitter got locked out months ago because I called a bitch fat! SRW wouldn't dare fire the sexiest man ever to grace a wrestling ring!!! I'm too beautiful!!
Koss: That recently happened to an old friend of ours.
Seleana kicks out.
Bianca takes her by the hair to the Pretty Committee corner and tags in Veronica. The two give Seleana Plausible Deniability and Veronica covers as Bianca steps out.
Seleana gets a shoulder up.
Veronica tags in Bianca and the Pretty Committee hits Seleana with the Spa Day. Bianca covers with Veronica stepping out.
Zenna breaks up the pin.
Veronica comes in and switches places with Bianca while the referee moves Zenna back to her corner. Bianca makes a loud clap sound and the referee turns around, signaling for a tag based on the sound. Veronica rakes Seleana’s eyes and then hits the Ultra Fabulous. She tags in Bianca who moves in and covers Seleana.
Zenna makes the save.
Veronica tries to hit Zenna and gets flipped into a belly to belly suplex that hits Bianca and knocks her into the corner. Zenna hits a rushing clothesline and then comes out for a big boot on Veronica before heading back to her corner. Seleana crawls over and makes the tag. Zenna comes in and catches Veronica for the Fatal Kiss. Bianca comes back and Zenna takes her down into the Painkiller. Veronica breaks it up and Seleana crashes into Veronica’s back with a running knee. Veronica tumbles to the floor and Seleana hits the Kattöga on Bianca. Zenna gets to her feet and Widlside grabs Bianca. Seleana puts Bianca up on her shoulders as Zenna goes to the corner. Zenna leaps off and Wildside hits Bianca with Ride The Lightning. Zenna covers Bianca.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNERS BY PINFALL: WILDSIDE!!!
As soon as the three comes down, Veronica rolls back in and sprays both Zdunich Sisters in the face with her perfume. Both sisters stagger back, now blinded for the moment. Bianca gets to her feet and they hit Zenna with the Ugliness Remover. The Pretty Committee knocks Seleana down and then hit her with the Prettyfyer. The two make their way out to Simon on the floor, spraying the perfume about as they smirk at their handiwork.
Koss: Wildside with the victory but what a disgusting display of poor sportswomanship by the Pretty Committee!!
Spazz: BOO!!! YOU BITCHES SUCK IN EVERY WAY BUT THE ONE I WANT!!!!
Koss: Mikey it's 2021! You can't say that! You'll get Hashtag Cancelled!
Spazz: Fuck that shit. My twitter got locked out months ago because I called a bitch fat! SRW wouldn't dare fire the sexiest man ever to grace a wrestling ring!!! I'm too beautiful!!
Koss: That recently happened to an old friend of ours.
SEGMENT
The camera opens in the back parking lot on Alex “Bullet” Carbajal and Jackie “Bandit” Layton standing near their bikes under a street lamp.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: La caja de acero cerrada.
Bandit can’t help but smirk slightly.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: We’ve been waiting for this one with House of Dix…
Bullet nods grimly.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: Even if Las Lobas are inserted…
Bandit shakes her head.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: What are they even doing here? What was the point of the match we had where we beat them if they were just going to get handed the same opportunity?
Bullet shrugs.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: ¡Cálmate! ¡Cálmate! What does it matter? We are here for House and Dixon and the tag team championships. We get them in a cage. If Las Lobas are the price to pay…
Bandit nods knowingly.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: Then we pay it and then we take it out of their asses!
Bullet nods.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: House and Dixon have been good champions but it is time they are made to stop playing their games. Las Lobas fall into the same category of they should be forced to stop playing their games and the cage will do this.
Bandit nods.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: County lock-up, that is not a place you want to be. We’ve been there before and we have no problem going back. You remember that when you decide you want to play dirty.
Bullet’s eyes flash as if they might just start dancing.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: Las Lobas do not want to play that game with us or with House and Dixon.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: We’re coming for those championships and if we have to go through all of you to get there, we will! Hell is empty…
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: And the Maidens are here!
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: La caja de acero cerrada.
Bandit can’t help but smirk slightly.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: We’ve been waiting for this one with House of Dix…
Bullet nods grimly.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: Even if Las Lobas are inserted…
Bandit shakes her head.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: What are they even doing here? What was the point of the match we had where we beat them if they were just going to get handed the same opportunity?
Bullet shrugs.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: ¡Cálmate! ¡Cálmate! What does it matter? We are here for House and Dixon and the tag team championships. We get them in a cage. If Las Lobas are the price to pay…
Bandit nods knowingly.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: Then we pay it and then we take it out of their asses!
Bullet nods.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: House and Dixon have been good champions but it is time they are made to stop playing their games. Las Lobas fall into the same category of they should be forced to stop playing their games and the cage will do this.
Bandit nods.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: County lock-up, that is not a place you want to be. We’ve been there before and we have no problem going back. You remember that when you decide you want to play dirty.
Bullet’s eyes flash as if they might just start dancing.
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: Las Lobas do not want to play that game with us or with House and Dixon.
Jackie "Bandit" Layton: We’re coming for those championships and if we have to go through all of you to get there, we will! Hell is empty…
Alex "Bullet" Carbajal: And the Maidens are here!
HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP
-HALO (C)-VS-JULIET BLACK-
The bell sounds and the two combatants smirk at each other. They nod and grab onto each other like a hockey fight, each holding on with one hand while swinging with the other. The two hammer away, blood quickly starting to flow on both of them. The assembled masses cheer them on as Halo and Juliet continue to pummel each other relentlessly. The referee stares on in wide-eyed wonder as the blows just seem to keep coming from an endless reservoir of destructive energy. The two slowly pivot to their left, seemingly compensating for the little movement with every second that the flurry continues. Blood continues to roll down their faces, seemingly coming from everywhere at once as the two batter away. Juliet rears back and connects with an especially forceful forearm smash and Halo is staggered. Juliet jumps into an attempt at the Fade 2 Black but Halo kicks her legs out and smashes Juliet back first to the mat with all of Halo’s weight on top of her before the Irish woman can sink the hold in. Halo starts to roll away and Juliet rolls her into a crucifix pin attempt.
Halo kicks out.
Halo rolls over and staggers to her feet. Juliet runs over and hits a knee strike that sends Halo over the top to the floor. Juliet comes out to the floor and bounces Halo face first off the barricade. Halo staggers over by the ring and Juliet grabs a crutch from the front row, swinging it like a baseball bat. She smashes it across Halo’s back. Halo falls to her knees, writhing in agony. Juliet takes the broken short end and sticks the jagged end against the open wounds on Halo’s forehead. Halo cries out in pain and Juliet presses harder. Juliet spins and blasts Halo in the back of the head with the piece of crutch and Halo’s head bounces off the edge of the ring. She crumples to the floor and Juliet pulls her up, rolling her into the ring. Juliet climbs up and drops a leg before covering.
Halo kicks out.
Juliet slides out to the floor and pulls a table from under the ring. She shoves in under the bottom rope and then climbs up into the ring, bringing a steel chair with her. Halo starts to get up. She’s just made it to all fours when Juliet nails her in the back with the chair. Halo crumples to the mat again and Juliet drops the chair, turning her attention back to the table. Juliet slowly starts to set up the table only to notice Halo starting to get back up. Juliet lets go of the half-set-up table and comes back around to where her opponent is. Juliet grabs the chair and blasts Halo in the back again. Halo cries out in pain and falls to her stomach yet again. Juliet hits her a second time on the mat and then drops the chair to go back to the table. Juliet gets the table set up and then positions it directly in the middle of the ring. As she finishes, Halo gets to her feet, grabs the chair and throws it. The chair catches Juliet in the face and goes tittering away to the corner. Juliet falls to one knee and Halo hits Black 13 on the table, knocking it into a collision with Juliet’s head on the other side. Juliet goes down like she’s been shot. Halo staggers ovr and sets the chair on the table. She gets Juliet up onto the table and then steps out to the outside. As Juliet staggers to her feet, clearly unaware of what’s going on around her, Halo springboards up into the Rattlehead. Juliet’s head comes down onto the chair and then through the table. Halo covers.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL AND STILL HARDCORE CHAMPION: HALO!!!
Halo kicks out.
Halo rolls over and staggers to her feet. Juliet runs over and hits a knee strike that sends Halo over the top to the floor. Juliet comes out to the floor and bounces Halo face first off the barricade. Halo staggers over by the ring and Juliet grabs a crutch from the front row, swinging it like a baseball bat. She smashes it across Halo’s back. Halo falls to her knees, writhing in agony. Juliet takes the broken short end and sticks the jagged end against the open wounds on Halo’s forehead. Halo cries out in pain and Juliet presses harder. Juliet spins and blasts Halo in the back of the head with the piece of crutch and Halo’s head bounces off the edge of the ring. She crumples to the floor and Juliet pulls her up, rolling her into the ring. Juliet climbs up and drops a leg before covering.
Halo kicks out.
Juliet slides out to the floor and pulls a table from under the ring. She shoves in under the bottom rope and then climbs up into the ring, bringing a steel chair with her. Halo starts to get up. She’s just made it to all fours when Juliet nails her in the back with the chair. Halo crumples to the mat again and Juliet drops the chair, turning her attention back to the table. Juliet slowly starts to set up the table only to notice Halo starting to get back up. Juliet lets go of the half-set-up table and comes back around to where her opponent is. Juliet grabs the chair and blasts Halo in the back again. Halo cries out in pain and falls to her stomach yet again. Juliet hits her a second time on the mat and then drops the chair to go back to the table. Juliet gets the table set up and then positions it directly in the middle of the ring. As she finishes, Halo gets to her feet, grabs the chair and throws it. The chair catches Juliet in the face and goes tittering away to the corner. Juliet falls to one knee and Halo hits Black 13 on the table, knocking it into a collision with Juliet’s head on the other side. Juliet goes down like she’s been shot. Halo staggers ovr and sets the chair on the table. She gets Juliet up onto the table and then steps out to the outside. As Juliet staggers to her feet, clearly unaware of what’s going on around her, Halo springboards up into the Rattlehead. Juliet’s head comes down onto the chair and then through the table. Halo covers.
1!!!
2!!!
3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL AND STILL HARDCORE CHAMPION: HALO!!!
Spazz: NO FUCKING WAY!!!
Koss: Yes fucking way! Halo just beat the most Hardcore of Hardcore in SRW and cemented her place as THE woman to beat in the Hardcore division!
Spazz: I say give 'em a rematch in a Death Chamber or some kind of shit named like that! I love me some Halo but Juliet is like the scariest woman in the building! No way!!!
Koss: Well I for one like seeing the unexpected! Kudos Halo!!
Koss: Yes fucking way! Halo just beat the most Hardcore of Hardcore in SRW and cemented her place as THE woman to beat in the Hardcore division!
Spazz: I say give 'em a rematch in a Death Chamber or some kind of shit named like that! I love me some Halo but Juliet is like the scariest woman in the building! No way!!!
Koss: Well I for one like seeing the unexpected! Kudos Halo!!
SEGMENT
Backstage we find the Rebel seated in her office, leaned back in that comfortable captain's chair with legs crossed, elbows resting on the arms. She's not dressed in her custom red suit jacket, black slacks, dress boots, and mesh shirt/tank combo but sports a long red and black coat with silver chains on her shoulders, a fringed leather red and blue half vest, silver tights with a bullet-shell belt that has her Rebel Star logo, black thigh boots, and fingerless gloves. She toys with a pair of chrome aviator shades in her hands, looking directly into the camera.
Rebel: What defines a legend? Truth is, legends are made and all you have to do is look at a wrestler's body of work, the impact they've made, and the respect they command when entering a locker room. My opponent tonight is a legend and one who has never gotten her due time in the sun and you want to know why? Because promoters are too fucking scared to put a belt on her. They're afraid she'll hold that gold till the end of motherfucking time and beyond. That's what I don't get about promoters these days. Take a fucking chance you cowards! Sadly all promoters have their favorite boot licking bitch-ass punks who talk a big game and can rock their hips real good behind locked doors. Not here, not SRW. Our champions are not pretty, they ain't nice, and they sure as fuck don't kiss my ass. Hell the Queen of the South, Ursula Von Rossbach recently had my ass punked with a choke hold against a wall. Any other place would see her ass out the door. Me? Nah.... I ain't weak like that. I looked her in the fucking eye and said if she ever touched me again, I'd take her fucking hand off at the elbow.
She uncrosses her legs, leaning forward in her seat with a devil may care smirk.
Rebel: My opponent tonight is Hirata Dokueki, a name that can send just about anyone running for cover at a mere mention. A monster who's got a body count few people can match in this sport but here I am, lil' ol' Rebel about to go out there and face the Dragon herself like I'm the motherfucking Dovahkiin while everyone else sat back and let her challenge sit for days without an answer.
Her finger points to the floor with jabbing motions as she makes her point.
Rebel: People call me alotta things, foolish and too damn cocky being chief among 'em, but afraid ain't it! I felt like this legend was disrespected by fear and decided, I might as well take a shot. I know her and Ursula have a fight coming down the pike, but the Champ has a few affairs to set in order before that can go down and that leaves Hirata's book pretty open. Kind of a shame that it took a Terminator bringing it to a few choice people's attention, but unlike those names she mentioned, I ain't about to pass up the shot to face an awesome competitor like The Poison Dragon.
Mel leans back, her smirk becoming a huge grin.
Rebel: Some out there think this is just me looking for a way to get over at the expense of my talent, that I'm looking for a big win over a big name to launch my solo career back up but nah nah naaaah. That challenge sat open, unanswered, unattended to and what's a better way to lead than by example? Show ya'll how this shit is done because there's alotta you week after week that just kinda' sit back, mouths shut, not stirring the pot or starting shit with anyone. That ain't how wrestling works! You gotta' be more than a body in a ring, bleeding and doing extreme shit for the sake of it. Tonight I hope that win, lose, or draw, I motivate some, if not all of you to do more out there, because I'll be fucking damned if the boss is supposed to step up to the plate like this.
The grin disappears as she leans in closer to the camera on her desk now.
Rebel: This moment could've been anybody's but tonight, it's mine and I can't ask for a better opponent in my own ring than The Poison Dragon, Hirata Dokueki. The two of us are gonna' beat the holy living hell out of each other in front of a screaming audience and whether my fist is raised in the air or they're carrying my carcass out of the ring, ain't nobody forgetting our names tonight. Dokueki, it's an honor and a privilege to step up and share the ring with a legend, thank you for having me and let's show those quivering bitches in the locker room how it's done!
Melinda slips on her shades, purses her lips together and blows a kiss at the camera. She then rises from her chair and quickly exits her office, the door shutting behind her as the camera feed cuts.
SEGMENT
The camera comes to life, Hirata Dokueki sitting on a bench in the locker room. She's strapping on her kick pads, and doesn't look up before she begins to speak.
Hirata Dokueki: Melinda Rhodes. The Rebel Star, and my boss here at Southern Rebellion Wrestling. Not a lot of full time superstars will step into the ring with my willingly, it would seem, much less upper management. But...
Dokueki slaps her shin, ensuring the pad is right before starting on the other one.
Hirata Dokueki: Melinda is no ordinary woman. An ordinary woman would have backed down from Ursula Von Rossbach. An ordinary woman would have sat silently and avoided my challenge altogether. Tonight, we prove two things.
Having finished adjusting her kick pads, Dokueki looks into the camera as she adjusts the loose fitting bottoms she wears in the ring.
Hirata Dokueki: One. That Melinda Rhodes has more heart than most of the people who work for her. And two, that most of the people who work for her have to be prodded by a Terminator and herself to consider getting into the ring with me. I cannot say that I blame them. My last two showings on this program have been rather one sided. Now, I stare down the barrel of a challenge I never would have expected.
Dokueki smirks, but there's danger in her one good eye as she stares into the camera, the other unmoving, lifeless.
Hirata Dokueki: Make no mistake, SRW fans and roster. What you are about to witness is going to be a very violent car accident. One from which the better woman will walk away.
Dokueki stands to her feet, finally ready. She walks to the door, pulling it open. She doesn't look back.
Hirata Dokueki: No offense Melinda. But that woman will be me. See you soon.
The camera fades to black as the Dragon exits.
POISON DRAGON CHALLENGE MATCH
-HIRATA DOKUEKI-VS-MELINDA RHODES-
The Rebel removes her long coat with a bit of flare, tossing it over her head to the outside where the time keeper catches it. The man is unusually good at catching stuff tossed out of the ring.
Mel pumps her fist in the air as they two circle each other in a worker's walk to work the crowd up, The Dragon smiling back at her with a wicked, crooked grin. The Rebel starts bouncing her feet a bit as they get closer, clearly amping herself up as they get closer and closer. Dokueki seems to jitter slightly with giddy anticipation almost, her hand reaching out for Melinda's. The hands grip and immediately there is a struggle that quickly turns to Hirata's favor as she twists the Rebel's down and back, causing her to grit her teeth in pain. Mel front flips to turn the tide and pulls the Dragon into a hard knee shot and a quick front facelock, but Do isn't held long! Mel falls back with a DDT but Dokueki pulls her head free while shoving Mel in mid drop, sending her flat-backed on the canvas! Mel barely avoids an axe kick stomp with a backroll to her feet!
The Rebel's on her feet in a flash and swinging with fast jabs that Dokueki manages to nimbly twist and dodge, catching Mel's arm and pulling her in for a solid Overhead Belly to Belly suplex! Mel skids across the canvas with clinched teeth on impact. She gets to her feet just in time to take a straight running boot to the chest that sends her falling back into the ropes! The Rebel shoves off the ropes with a clothesline, Dokueki shows off her flexibility, bending backwards as her foe's arm sails over her, then twisting and bending upright while spinning with her arm outstretched. Mel stumbles from the missed shot, rights herself, then turns right back around with an arm reared back only to get violently rocked off her feet with a brutal power-lariat! With a loud smack, Mel's hit with a skull rattling impact that flips her right off her feet, landing her flat on her stomach with a croaked groan, yet she pushes up with her knuckles, shaking her head.
With a shoulder roll and a single windmill swing of Mel's arm, the two go back into a worker's walk and seeing it coming, Mel brings her arms up to block one of the fastest and hardest roundhouse kicks she's ever taken, the blow sending her stumbling to one side. She barely dodges a follow up snap kick, blocks a low kick, and finally Dokueki fires off a Savate kick that Mel catches and without missing a beat, Mel pulls her right into a single leg shoulder powerbomb right on the canvas!!!!
Dokueki back rolls on impact to her feet and now it was her turn to back pedal as Melinda unloads a boxer's barrage! She tries to weave through them, but the Rebel's hands are fast and precise, forcing her to turtle up while eating a few body shots to the ribs. A knee shot from Dokueki breaks things up, forcing Mel to block with both hands but opening her up for a wicked headbutt that sends her staggering back, followed by SHINING BLACK!!! Mel is on her back and Dokueki rolls right over her for the ONE-TWO-TTTHHHRRRE-NO!!!! She rolls the shoulder, which puts a big smile on Dokueki's face!
Mel starts to rise in time to be sat up on her knees with a hard running knee shot, followed by a low orbit roundhouse kick rolling her out on the mat! Dokueki steps back, doing a little fist pump like the Rebel had done earlier on, then squats down in a corner, stomping her foot as she watches and waits for her foe to get to her feet. She doesn't wait long Mel shows her resilience, rising up on one knee with a bit of a shake of her head. Dokueki blasts off from the corner with a running Big Boot towards her foe, but in a move that surprises her, Mel runs right at her, drops to her knees, and slides beneath her on momentum alone! Mel pops her legs and is instantly on her feet. Dokueki turns around, slightly off balance and gets caught in a 3/4th's necklock! SHOT IN THE DARK!!! Mel hooks the leg and ONE-TWO-THRE-POWER KICKOUT!!!
Dokueki THROWS Melinda off of her and sits up, shaking here head from the shot and yet oddly enough, there's a huge, almost feral grin on her face. The Rebel rolls back and crouches low, staring on in shock at The Poison Dragon as she rises up, rolling her shoulders and her neck. She claps her hands at Melinda as if to say "Good effort!"
Giving herself a few quick head slaps, Mel gets to her feet with a little bounce in her step once more. She brings her hands up once more and moves in. What follows is an intense and insane exchange of blocked strikes, ducked kicks, and evasions between the two. The Rebel scores a hard right on Dokueki's jaw. The Dragon manages to catch her with a back kick to the gut. Another hard right spins Dokueki around only for her to to come back with a haymaker of her own that spins Melinda right around as well! Mel answers right back! The two lay into each other at that point with strikes back and forth until a blow actually staggers Dokueki! She starts responding less and less to each of Mel's strikes until one seemingly drops her right to her knee!
Mel then rushes in with a Low Orbit sliding STO but DOKUEKI CATCHES HER WITH A CLAW HOLD!!! Rising to a full stand with a smile, she CLAWSLAMS THE REBEL!!! She makes the pin and ONE! TWO!!!! TTTTHHRRRE-KICKOUT!!!! The Rebel rolls a shoulder! She rises with the Rebel firmly gripped by the arm and whips her into the far corner. Mel slumps in the corner, still shaken from the Claw slam. The Poison Dragon backs up, wipes her foot on the canvas, then bursts straight for her prone foe, leaping forward only to catch two boots to the chest that send her flailing back, hitting the canvas with a backroll across the ring. Hirata just smiles as she looks to the crowd, rising with her back turned. She turns and RHODES KILL SPEAR ROCKS HER OFF HER FEET WITH AN EXPLOSIVE IMPACT!!!! Melinda leaps to her feet with a double fist pump, bellowing a mighty rebel yell!!!!
Melinda circles as was always customary, turns on one foot, and stomps as she faces Dokueki, only to be surprised by seeing the monster on her feet, cradling her ribs and sporting a wicked grin on her face. The Rebel doesn't back down or show fear, just giving a determined look in her eyes as she brings her fists up. Dokueki slips into a stance of her own and the two approach. A fake out with a roundhouse kick causes Mel to bring her arms up, only for Dokueki to snap down and stomp her foot, followed by a piston kick to the gut that sends The Rebel into the ropes. She's all over the Rebel in seconds with knee shots and forearm strikes. The Referee moves in to separate them, only to get an irate Dokueki in the ref's face! Referee Kelly Kirk tries to defuse the situation but is saved by Melinda reminding The Dragon who her foe is by locking her into a tight rear naked choke! The two struggle as Dokueki proves hard to pull down to the mat, firing off a few stiff back elbows into Mel's ribs, followed by a back headbutt that sends her foe staggering back! Stunned, Mel falls through the ropes to the outside, seemingly KO'ed!!
Dokueki takes a moment to recover as the Referee starts the 10 count. The Poison Dragon placing her hands on her hips as Mel starts stirring outside. She sees the Rebel's hand on the apron at the count of NINE and promptly rolls out of the ring, gathering her foe up and slinging her back into the ring! Dokueki slides back in, wagging her finger with a little nod towards the nearest camera. Mel pushes up on her knuckles, a trickle of blood running down one side of her face. The headbutt had split her open, but the glare in her eyes said she wasn't dying without a fight! With grit teeth she gets to her feet, turns and SHINING BLACK MATRIX EVADED!!!!
Mel bends backwards then snaps forward, spinning around to catch an off balance Dokueki in that 3/4th Necklock! She leaps, but finds herself elevated and tossed into the nearest turnbuckle pad. Disoriented, she's easy prey for a fast thinking Dokueki who runs up behind her on the ropes, lifts her up and DRAGON'S DIVE!!!! THE REBEL IS DOWN! Dokueki crawls across her, clearly at the end of her own reserves as the referee counts the pin ONE! TWO! TTTTHHHHRRRREEEE!!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: HIRATA DOKUEKI!!!!
Koss: THE FANS ARE ON THEIR FEET!! WHAT A MATCH! WHAT. A. MATCH!!!!
Spazz: They fucking blew it all out in this match! I ain't ever sayin' Rebs can't go ever again!
Koss: Dokueki earned that win and then some!
Spazz: Fucking right you are, lunchbox!
SEGMENT
We are backstage at the Rose Arena and on standby ready to go is a whole lot of blonde stuffed in a golden dress, you guessed it folks it’s your hostess with the mostest the top graduate from journalism school of journalism: ChaCha! The blonde stands there holding the microphone like a pro.
ChaCha: Howdy ya’ll, it’s ChaCha here with the top scoop of the night ahead of tonight’s pseudo-main event the Ultimate Conquest Championship: I have an exclusive, never before aired chance to interview, the one, the only..the man of the hour, the tower of power, you know who I’m talking about don’t cha folks? That’s right the YORKSHIRE TERROR, C.C.M come on down lad!~
We see CCM’s head pop in to the shot.
CCM: Rest in peace Alex Trebek, and if you ever get bored of doing journalism I bet you'd make a wonderful gameshow host
ChaCha: D’aww thanks, I got the brains for it.
WMD: and lungs, should hear her scream sometimes.
CCM: I believe I just did.
WMD: Did what?
CCM: Heard her scream?
WMD: She did?
CCM: Yeah Dad, she did.
WMD: I didn’t hear it.
CCM: You missed it Dad.
WMD: Did I?
CCM: Yup, you missed it.
WMD: Missed what?
CCM: So ChaCha, throw me a hardball, no need to go soft on me, fire it up you lil’ imp of imperanable integrity!
She seems confused.
ChaCha: but..if I gotta throw a ball who’s holding the microphone? I didn’t even bring any balls, NOBODY SAID I NEEDED TO BRING PROPS! WHAT KIND OF MICKEY MOUSE BULLSHIT OPERATION IS THIS?!?
Both father and son seem baffled by her outburst.
WMD: maybe we should send her to wrestle instead?
CCM: Hey!
WMD: Look, sweetheart. This is supposed to be an interview about CCM, and his big chance against Luther Thunder for the Ultimate Conquest Championship tonight, why don’t you ask him about how he plans on beating Luther Thunder tonight since he already DID IT ONCE, on his bloody DEBUT to boot!
CCM: Oh I like that! Ask me that one!
ChaCha: Well how am I supposed to when he already did?! Didn’t you guys read the script!?
CCM: You got a script?
WMD: Not sure if I can even read..
Voice off camera: HOLD ON THERE JUST A MINUTE GENTLEMEN!
Luther Thunder the Ultimate Conquest Champion steps in with the title over his shoulder and his wife Esme right by his side he eyes at the trio in turns.
Luther: Gents, and lady.
WMD: Who the fuck is he calling gentle?
CCM: Must be you, I’m the one called Yorkshire TERROR
Esme steps in pushing ChaCha back a pace or two.
Esme: Back off bimbo. We are here to settle something.
ChaCha looks annoyed.
ChaCha: Listen here, you..
Esme steps at her, causing ChaCha to squeak and scurry away. CCM sighs, sensing it’s gonna be another of those days.
CCM: So here we are again. With you interrupting my interview. Again.
WMD: I swear if this ends up with me getting jumped another time...
CCM: Come to think of it that little mystery never got resolved, did it? But whatever. Luther Thunder and his plus size plus one. To what do we owe the pleasure?
Esme shoves CCM.
Esme: What did you say, you little runt?
WMD: I think he was calling you a bit chubby.
Esme HUH?
WMD: Tubby,
Esme: WHAT?
WMD: Overly plumptious.
Luther: You know, I’ve been making waves, winning championships... but now I think about it, I never crossed off my bucket list one thing. I think I owe YOU a little payback for the fast one you pulled on me, CCM.
WMD: We only accept proper currency and in cash, no paypal,money order or cheques.
CCM: No... I think he means he wants to beat me up. But that’s fine, you get your chance. Much like I get my chance to take THAT!
He pokes at the brand new unified title over Luther’s shoulder.
CCM: What is it they call you? “The male Ursula Von Rossbach”? Well unlike you, I’ve beaten the ACTUAL UVR, and you come to think of it, so let’s make it a double and show all these fine people what a REAL champion looks like!
WMD: Real UVR was easier on the eyes too.
Esme: HEY!
Older Millar smirks.
WMD: Ease up missus, If the kid takes the title. I could take you for a night out to town, show you a real gooood time and what a REAL MAN is like.
This fires up the Ultimate Conquest Champion who doesn’t hesitate, he jumps at the big man.
Luther: YOU SON OF A BITCH I’LL KILL YOU!
WMD Steps back as CCM dives for the legs taking down the angered Dutchman with a surprise chop block! Luther falls down and CCM lands on top of him, ready to throw a punch, but stops an inch away from the champ’s face.
CCM: ..on second thought, I’ll save it for the ring. People paid to see a Championship match, not a backstage altercation. See you out there “champ”
WMD yanks his kid up and the two men walk off we see Luther huffing and puffing like the Dutch big bad wolf.
Luther: I’ll kill them, both of them if I have to, I don’t give a shit if the other one is a midget and the other one’s an ancient. I’ll send them to Boris Johnson in a fucking box! You hear me, you pair of limey limp-dicks! YOUR DEAD!
Then Mr & Mrs Thunder realize ChaCha still stands there holding the microphone.
Luther: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
ChaCha seems annoyed rolling her eyes.
ChaCha: I’m here to get a scoop and I think I got one.
Esme: BEGONE BINT!
ChaCha: This is ChaCha signing out, have a good night SRW, WE LOVE YOUUUUU~
She clops away trying to do her own fade out as Esme glares after her.
Esme: If you plan on killing the two of them, leave her for me.
ULTIMATE CONQUEST CHAMPIONSHIP
-LUTHER THUNDER (C)-VS-CCM-
The match begins with a bell ring and CCM faking out Luther several times, looking to grapple only to bounce back and wag his finger or make some other smart taunt. The big man gets more than a little fed up at one point, overcommitting to a grapple attempt. CCM takes advantage, side stepping with a kick to the ribs followed by a second boot to the rear sending Thunder stumbling into the ropes! Thunder spins around, wild-eyed and angry as CCM dances back and forth on the opposite side of the ring. Shoving off the ropes he charges at CCM, who drops down, pulling the ropes at the last second and allowing Luther to fly out onto the floor! CCM then acts as if he's hurt his back, distracting the referee as WMD assaults the Conquest champion with knees, forearm strikes, and overhand clubbing blows to the back! Esme runs up behind WMD, catching him with a low blow that halts his assault, allowing Luther to get the upper hand with brutal multiple headbutts followed by THE SPINNING SPINEBUSTER THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!
Luther gets to his feet just in time to eat a sliding dropkick to the face from CCM! CCM takes advantage of his stunned state, battering him with forearm strikes and kicks, then slamming his head into the apron and the ring post. Esme shouts at him and the two engage in a little insult fest back and forth before he shoves her back. He goes for a slap but his wrist is caught by Luther and pulled right into a MILITARY PRESS SLAM!!! Luther rolls back under the ropes and then back out of the ring to find CCM crawling away from him. He grabs him by the ankle, pulling him up and slinging him back into the ring! CCM backs up from an irate Luther, scrambling to get to his feet! Luther takes a swing and CCM dodges, catching the arm and pulling him right to the ground with across armbar! Luther manages to get a leg on the ropes, forcing the break.
The two roll apart and are on their feet. CCM rises, stumbling and holding his head. Luther smiles and bolts forward snapping off THUNDERSTRUCK-NO! DUCKED! What Luther fails to notice is that CCM had stumbled in front of the referee and ducking the shot, the Referee takes the full brunt of the the powerful kick!!! Outside WMD slides a chair under the ropes which CCM picks up. Luther turns and *WHACK!!!!* Chair shot straight to the skull, BUT LUTHER DOESN'T GO DOWN!!!! CCM Hits another, which only seems to piss him off more! What isn't noticed, however, is WMD dragging Referee Moody out of the ring. Esme tries to stop him, only to get rocked off her feet by a brutal big boot!
Luther, meanwhile, catches CCM's chair on a third swing and rips it from his hands!!! As he goes to swing it, WMD moves in from behind, catching the chair and yanking it from him. Luther spins around, rearing his fist back only to stop when he sees CCM's father wearing a striped referee shirt. The shock is enough for CCM to roll in behind and yank him down for a schoolboy pin! "Referee" WMD fast counts the 1-2-3 on the spot!!!!
*DING DING DING!*
WINNER AND NEW ULTIMATE CONQUEST CHAMPION: CCM!!!
WMD pulls from his pocket a card which he holds up to a camera that reads "REGISTERED REFEREE, WINSTON DYSON-MILLER."
Koss: Wow that son of a bitch!
Spazz: Who knew WMD was a licensed referee?
Koss: Are we letting this stand?!
Spazz: Looks like it! Luther Thunder's gonna' have to come loaded for bear and maybe bring his own referee up in this motherfucker to take that belt back!!
Koss: This is insanity!
Spazz: Look up Wrestling in the dictionary. Wrestling and Insanity both have each other as the definition, yo!
SEGMENT
We see the House of Dix backstage, sitting on production crates. Dixon looks a little nervous.
Tracy: You know, I’ve never fought a match in a cage before.
House: Uh-huh.
Tracy: Yeah, I mean it’s kinda really hard to know what to expect. So many people, and the steel, and our championships are on the line as well. I like us being the Southern Cross champs, I don’t want us to lose.
House nods.
House: We’s not gonna lose. Me’s has a plan.
Tracy smiles.
Tracy: Awesome! Er... can I get in on this plan?
House nods again.
House: You’s know da cage?
Dixon: Yeah?
House: If you smack your head on it, it hurts wight?
Dixon: I would imagine so.
House: SOOOO... if we smack our opponents heads into da cage, an’ don’t let them smack our heads into da cage... dey’ll hurt more than us and dat means we’ll win! Wight?
Dixon: ........That’s not a plan, Wends, that’s basic common sense.
House looks offended.
House: Alwight smarty pants, what’s you’s big idea den? As you’s appawently all clued in on da ins an’ outs of cagey matches.
Dixon: I never said that...
House: You’s said me’s amazin’ intwicate plan was common sense. So if dat’s common for you’s, you clearly know more than House does. So please elabowate!
Dixon: Look the problem is that we don’t have to even get pinned to lose, right?
House: Wight.
Dixon: So what if these four women settle the match for themselves just to kick us out of the equation.
Wendy slams a clenched fist to her palm
House: Those Wat bastawds!
Then she tilts her head.
House: We’s still get a rematchy though, even if we lose? So think of it like a continue, or an extra life, maybe even a life insurance for our championships.
Dixon: Enough with the videogame analogy, this is not a game! It’s real life.
House: LIFE is a game Twace, we’s just gotta win. Keep you’s back to da cage at all times, eyes on da pwize. You’s gotta be smart. You’s gotta be tough. You’s GOTTA FIGHT! For your RIGHT! TO PAAAARTTTTY~
Dixon: HOUSE! That isn’t helping!
House: Me’s gettin’ into stweet House mode! We’s gotta get wough an’ weady. Beasties helps us, much like da House of Pain we come out to. It all about da nineties mindset. Thuggin’ an’ buggin’.
Dixon: House...
House: Me’s gwew up on da stweets, me’s tough as a two dollar steak. CANADIAN.
Dixon: Inflation sure struck hard on your puns.
House: You’s inflated!
Dixon: Luckily you we won’t have to rely on your wits to win tonight..
House: or your tits! Ha!
Tracy looks at her chest then at House.
Dixon: If we did, I’d win.
Wendy frowns, then pouts.
House: Meanie! Dat’s not fair, me’s a kid!
Dixon smiles.
Dixon: Yeah? Well recess is over kiddo, time to get to the ring. You ready?
House thinks for a second then nods.
Dixon: Great. Let’s go retain these titles!
Dixon walks off with House skipping behind. We head back to ringside.
MAIN EVENT
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
TRIPLE THREAT TORNADO TAG STEEL CAGE MATCH
-HOUSE OF DIX (C)-VS-SOCIALITES-VS-RIOT SQUAD-
With the cage in place, the referee calls for the bell. The Page Sisters pose for everyone and House charges at them, screaming about twitter notifications as she goes. The Socialites catch her and start to elevate her for a double flapjack only for Dixon to deliver a double spear that bounces both Page Sisters back against the ropes and the cage wall. Bullet and Bandit run over and catch both Page Sisters in matching small packages.
Both kickout.
Dixon turns around and cracks Bullet in the back allowing the Page Sisters to take over on Bandit. House jumps up and quickly the competitors split into three pairs of fighters, Dixon and Bullet, Danielle and House, Vanessa and Bandit, all three pairs exchanging punches. Within seconds, all six women are bleeding and Bandit grabs Vanessa, bouncing her face first off the wall. House spins Danielle and bounces her off the wall as well. As the Page Sisters collapse to the mat, House and Bandit turn to face each other and start exchanging shots as well. The Socialites get up to their knees behind Bandit and House and low blow them simultaneously. The Socialites get rollups on both House and Bandit.
Both kickout.
Dixon ducks a punch from Bullet and scoops her up, swinging her around, clubbing both Page Sisters back down again. Bandit gets up and hits a dropkick to the back and causes Dixon to lose her grip on Bullet. Bandit heads to the corner with House in hot pursuit. Bullet goes after House and the Page Sisters come after Bullet. A few seconds later, Bandit makes it to the top of the cage while Dixon grabs both Page Sisters. Dixon pulls on both Pages, they pull Bullet and Bullet pulls House. Bandit watches from high above as they all crash to the mat and splat apart from each other on impact. Dixon rolls over and Bandit looks down. She nods and jumps off a shooting star off the top of the cage, crashing down onto Dixon on the mat. The referee starts to count.
The Socialites Break It Up!
The Socialites pull Bandit up and go for the Mean Girls, Danielle running to the ropes while Vanessa holds Bandit. As Danielle rebounds off, House jumps up and catches her with a spinning heel kick. Vanessa tosses Bandit aside and cracks House in the back. As the Socialites look to give House a piledriver, Bullet gets up and starts cracking skulls on all three of them. Dixon runs over and takes all four down with a rampaging clothesline barrage. Bandit starts to climb up to the top and Dixon grabs Vanessa Page. She swings Vanessa around to knock down Bullet and then Danielle before turning and rushing towards the corner, vanesa still in her grasp. House goes for the cover on Danielle.
Danielle Page kicks out.
House tries to cover Bullet.
Bullet kicks out.
Dixon crashes into the corner, switching so that when they hit, she’s giving Vanessa the Kentucky Blind Date. As they hit the corner, Dixon smashes Vanessa’s back into both the turnbuckles and Bandit. Bandit crashes shoulder first into the door, knocking it open and lands in a painful heap on the floor. The referee calls for the bell as Bandit has “escaped” the cage.
WINNER AND NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE SMC RIOT SQUAD!!!
Koss: HOUSE OF DIX HAS BEEN DETHRONED!!! THE RIOT SQUAD TAKES BACK THE GOLD!!!
Spazz: And Tracy helped them without even fuckin' knowing! Ain't that a kick in the nuts or what?
Koss: Indeed! That is all the time we have for tonight! Thank you for watching and we hope to see you again!
Both kickout.
Dixon turns around and cracks Bullet in the back allowing the Page Sisters to take over on Bandit. House jumps up and quickly the competitors split into three pairs of fighters, Dixon and Bullet, Danielle and House, Vanessa and Bandit, all three pairs exchanging punches. Within seconds, all six women are bleeding and Bandit grabs Vanessa, bouncing her face first off the wall. House spins Danielle and bounces her off the wall as well. As the Page Sisters collapse to the mat, House and Bandit turn to face each other and start exchanging shots as well. The Socialites get up to their knees behind Bandit and House and low blow them simultaneously. The Socialites get rollups on both House and Bandit.
Both kickout.
Dixon ducks a punch from Bullet and scoops her up, swinging her around, clubbing both Page Sisters back down again. Bandit gets up and hits a dropkick to the back and causes Dixon to lose her grip on Bullet. Bandit heads to the corner with House in hot pursuit. Bullet goes after House and the Page Sisters come after Bullet. A few seconds later, Bandit makes it to the top of the cage while Dixon grabs both Page Sisters. Dixon pulls on both Pages, they pull Bullet and Bullet pulls House. Bandit watches from high above as they all crash to the mat and splat apart from each other on impact. Dixon rolls over and Bandit looks down. She nods and jumps off a shooting star off the top of the cage, crashing down onto Dixon on the mat. The referee starts to count.
The Socialites Break It Up!
The Socialites pull Bandit up and go for the Mean Girls, Danielle running to the ropes while Vanessa holds Bandit. As Danielle rebounds off, House jumps up and catches her with a spinning heel kick. Vanessa tosses Bandit aside and cracks House in the back. As the Socialites look to give House a piledriver, Bullet gets up and starts cracking skulls on all three of them. Dixon runs over and takes all four down with a rampaging clothesline barrage. Bandit starts to climb up to the top and Dixon grabs Vanessa Page. She swings Vanessa around to knock down Bullet and then Danielle before turning and rushing towards the corner, vanesa still in her grasp. House goes for the cover on Danielle.
Danielle Page kicks out.
House tries to cover Bullet.
Bullet kicks out.
Dixon crashes into the corner, switching so that when they hit, she’s giving Vanessa the Kentucky Blind Date. As they hit the corner, Dixon smashes Vanessa’s back into both the turnbuckles and Bandit. Bandit crashes shoulder first into the door, knocking it open and lands in a painful heap on the floor. The referee calls for the bell as Bandit has “escaped” the cage.
WINNER AND NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE SMC RIOT SQUAD!!!
Koss: HOUSE OF DIX HAS BEEN DETHRONED!!! THE RIOT SQUAD TAKES BACK THE GOLD!!!
Spazz: And Tracy helped them without even fuckin' knowing! Ain't that a kick in the nuts or what?
Koss: Indeed! That is all the time we have for tonight! Thank you for watching and we hope to see you again!
CREDITS
-VALERIE BEASLEY-VS-BRUTUS HEART-
(RC)
-CHERRY DEVILLE-VS-JERRY WATTS-
(RC)
-CHELSEA WINSTON-VS-FAYE LANGE-
(Alex)
-CHRISTINA ZDUNICH-VS-MAJA LINDSTROM-
(Alex)
-MARIA SALVATORE-VS-JUSTICE CROSS-
(Alex)
-PRETTY COMMITTEE-VS-WILDSIDE-
(Alex)
-HALO (C)-VS-JULIET BLACK-
(Alex)
-HIRATA DOKUEKI-VS-MELINDA RHODES-
(RC)
-LUTHER THUNDER (C)-VS-CCM-
(RC)
-HOUSE OF DIX (C)-VS-SOCIALITES-VS-RIOT SQUAD-
(Alex)
-------------------------------------
SPECIAL THANKS
Alex, who is the most dependable Clockwork Ninja ever to set foot into a fed. Thank you so much bud!
Card is Subject to Change